Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for date on Saturday night.
After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat.
Women might be able to fake an orgasm, but men can fake an entire relationship.
My mother never saw the irony of calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
A fool and his money are soon partners.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
Do you know why they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
True or False? A pea can last 5,000 years.
Answer: Depending on how old you are, it can sure seem that way.
Q: You've been having trouble sleeping Are you probably a man or a woman?
A:: That's the question that keeps me awake at night.
Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: If you hold their little heads under the water long enough, they do.
Q: Which of your 5 senses diminishes with age?
A: Your sense of decency.
Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Only after the lights go out.
Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q: According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A: Point and laugh.
Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them? Seen what?
A: His feet.