Friday, December 30, 2016

Fifty Shades of Grey Hair #50

This has been a sad year for us.
     So many people we have known and loved have gone the way of the Dodo. That's the problem with living to an elderly age. Friends and family go, as the Munchkins are fond of saying, where the goblins go.
     I say all that because the pastor of our church has recently gone to his great reward, so we must find a new church to go to. This is not as easily done as said, you know. There was one church in particular we were interested in joining, but...
     "We have a special requirement for new parishioners," the pastor informed us. "You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
     Heck, we're old, so we agreed.
     "It shouldn't be too hard," I told Christian.
     "That's what she said," Christian told me back, so we left and came back at the end of two weeks.
     "Well," the pastor asked us, "were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
     "No Pastor," Christian replied sadly, "we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks."
     The pastor was shocked.
     "What happened?" he wanted to know.
     You know, for a pastor he sure does concern himself with the sex lives of others a lot.
     "You see," Christian explained, "as my wife Ana was reaching for something from the top shelf, she dropped it. And when she bent over to pick it up, well, two weeks is two weeks. I was so overcome with lust I took her the way Grant took Richmond right then and there."
     The pastor shook his head in disbelief.
     "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," he told us.
     "Yeah, well," I admitted, "we're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."
American Chimpanzee

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