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The Case Of The Missing Keys

My father has his own keys to the house and gate so he can come and go as he pleases on his walks. We used to try to keep track of his walks, but no matter what we suggested he would want to do the opposite. "Pop," I'd tell him, "it's hot. Why don't you wait until it cools down?" "It's not that hot," my father would say on his way out. A half-hour later, on his way back in, he'd tell me, "Man, it was  hot . I should have waited until it cooled down." "Pop, it looks like rain." "Pop, it's cold. Put on a jacket." "Pop, it's getting dark. Take a flashlight with you." I retired from a job I really enjoyed to become a weatherman for my father. On this particular day, my father's morning walk was pretty uneventful and he got home feeling pretty good. So good, in fact, that he decides to go on an afternoon walk. The only problem is he can't find his keys. He walks out of the front guestho...

Funny Shades of Grey--chapter twenty-two

  Chapter Twenty-Two    "Thank you, Mr..." I take a quick look at the security guy's name tag, "...Johnson."   "Ma'am," he tells me, indignantly, "my name is Raymond J. Johnson Jr. Now, you can call me Ray , or you can call me Jay , or you can call me Johnny , or you can call me Sonny , or you can call me Junie , or you can call me Junior , or you can call me Ray-Jay , or you can call me Jay-Jay , or you can call me RJ , or you can call me RJJ , or you can call me RJJ Jr ... but you doesn't hasta call me Johnson . "   Um... that's good to know. For future reference, I mean.   "Thank you," I tell him, "... sir ."   While in the First Class waiting area, I have a drink or two, a nosh or two, and a massage or two. I didn't know they gave massages at the airport, and the masseuse is kind enough to take my purse for "cleaning." Wow, I could get used to this kind of life.   I send Christian a ...