American Chimpanzee

Dizneyland (The name of the theme park has been changed to protect the innocent.)        I love Dizneyland.      I go every chance I get      My wife and kids, however, have long-since stopped going with me.      "If you're going to let a little thing like embarrassment stop you," I'd tell them, "you'll never do anything."      But when they did go with me, we'd get in free. How? you ask. Well, like this: there's ALWAYS a long line at the ticket booth where you pay your entrance fee. While standing in that slow-moving line, I'd complain, loud enough for everybody around me to hear, "I'm hot. Are you hot?" and then, "I don't feel so good," and then, "I hope I'm not contagious."      After standing in the line for a reasonable length of time, I'd let myself fall to the hard concrete ground, pretending to have passed out. It's easy, you just let your ...

What's this obsession Donald Trump has with Ted Cruz?      The New York businessman and reality show star no sooner won the Republican nomination for president than, instead of bringing his party together and solidifying his base, he went off on another rant about Ted Cruz, while his vice-presidential running mate, Indiana Governor Mike Pence, stood next to him with a look on his face like the ones the passengers on the Titanic must have had.      To find some insight to his obsession., I needed to look no further than his latest book, The Wit & Wisdom of Donald Trump.      I read it, so you wouldn't have to.   Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing. That, and crushing Ted Cruz.   It ain't over 'til it's over. Or until Ted Cruz endorses me.   All men are created equal. Except Ted Cruz.   Thou shalt not kill. Ted Cruz being the only excep...

The Turkey? My guess is she's an intern from the previous administration.     American Chimpanzee  JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene   

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of all this Clinton Email Scandal nonsense.      Now, after all the brouhaha is over with, the question I have, the REAL question (the only one that matters), is: Who's got the time to send off over 50,000 emails? I thought Secretary of States were supposed to busy. Sadly, what the American people found out, they're busy the way teenage girls are busy when they're bullying each other over the internet.      Personally, I like Hillary Clinton. I don't care what anybody says, that 666 on her scalp is just an unfortunate birthmark, and if she says she didn't do anything illegal, immoral, or improper, then I believe her. It's like when I served as a juror in the notorious OJ Simpson trial, all of the eleven other jurors were dead-set on finding him guilty of the vicious murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, but I told them, "You forget one thing, people... ...

When Obama calls, I jump.      It's the least I can do for the man who once saved my life in 'Nam.      "Jim, I'll be frank," he told me that day in early July, 2015.      "Okay, Frank."      "I need a bodyguard."      I looked at his Secret Service detail standing nearby. Even behind their dark sunglasses I could tell they were looking everywhere but at me. I judge a man by whether he can look me in the eye or not. Also, by how many kicks to the head it would take to kill him.      "It's not what you think," Obama said, quickly.      I've usually found that when someone tells me it's not what I think, it's exactly what I think.      "I have 110% faith in my Secret Service," he continued, using a code we developed in 'Nam. There's no such thing as 110%, you see. "I'm scheduled to visit a federal prison. Now, if I was...