American Chimpanzee

When Jesus was on the road to Canaan, He came upon a man who was weeping.      "Why do you weep, my son?" Jesus asked him.      "Because I am blind," the man told him, so Jesus touched him and he could see.      Further down the road, Jesus came upon another man who was weeping.      "And why do you weep, my son?" Jesus again asked.      "Because, my Lord, I have leprosy," the man explained, so Jesus touched HIM and he was healed.      Still further down the road, Jesus came upon a third man and he was weeping most bitterly of all.      "Tell me, my son," Jesus said softly, "why do YOU weep?"      "Because," the man answered, "my widowed father has come to live with me in his old age."      And so Jesus sat by him and they BOTH wept together.      Thus sayeth the Lord.   ...

My Favorite Russian Joke   The only cow in a small Russian village stopped giving milk, so the villagers went to Minsk and bought a new one.      This cow produced lots of milk. The people were so happy they decided to buy a bull to mate with the cow so that they could breed even  more cows like it. The cow, however, wanted nothing to do with the bull. Ignoring him, she coolly moved away every time he approached.      Stymied, the villagers went to the oldest man in their village and asked him what they should do.      After some thought, he spoke.      "Did you buy this cow from Minsk?"      The villagers were amazed at his wisdom.      "How did you know?" they asked.      "Because," the old man said, shaking his head sadly, "my wife is from Minsk."   ...

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine desertexposure.com   My wife and kids refuse to travel with me any more.      "Why?" you ask.      Because I'm a man who likes to enjoy life at a discount. My wife calls me cheap, but I'm not cheap... I'm frugal.      This month I'm planning on going to Dizzyland for my vacation. The last time I went there, the LGBT were there for Rainbow Weekend. Or it was some law-enforcement convention. I've noticed that they have the same look.      Sadly, I'm going alone.      Still, I'll have fun.      "How?" you ask.      Because, as everybody knows, Dizzyland is the slap-dap-happiest place on Earth. Dizzyland started as the lifelong dream of Walt White, a high-school chemistry teacher who, when he discovered he had cancer, decided to break bad and secure his family's future by cooking and selli...