The Week In Tweets: Special Super Bowl Edition!
I'm not materialistic. You can get me anything you want for my birthday. As long as you wrap it in cash. Nice try, people named Tristan... ...or should I say: Stan, Stan, Stan! Sometimes my jokes are just for me. A Fake News report you never see: "Psychic Wins Lottery!" "No, those clothes don't make you look fat," I used to tell my ex. "You ALREADY look that way." Money doesn't buy happiness... ...but it DOES provide for a more comfortable despair. I think it's wrong that only ONE company makes the game of Monopoly. "Two can play at THAT game," says the guy who's confused about how to play solitaire. "Lucy. In the sky. With diamonds." --John Lennon aka The World's WORST Clue player. I was playing chess with a friend. We decided to make it MORE interesting... ...so we stopped playing chess. I'm the WORLD CHAMPION Trivial Pursuit playe...