American Chimpanzee

Fake News Reports! 10) So I say to you... Ask, and it  will  be given to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. Cheat, and you will win the presidency. 9) Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Having said that, will this election never end? 8) Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart. I’m not at all like that fat, pompous ass who refuses to accept the election results. 7)  For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life. Then He made a list. A list of all the people who supported Trump. Verily, they shall suffer. 6) For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul? No, my child, if you’re looking for a profit you must look to China. 5) A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you, but I’ll understand if you can’t bring yourself to stomach the...

 Fake News Reports!   No matter who wins, I'm counting on the rioting and looting afterward to complete my Christmas list. CNN Promises NOT To Prematurely Declare A Winner In Today's Presidential Election! "Unless it helps Joe Biden," George Constanza look-a-like Jeff Zucker clarifies. If there's one thing I've learned from this election, it's this: If you try, you can find something good to say about anything. Smoking? At least you won't have to suffer the aches and pains of old age. Stephen Colbert Breaks Down In TEARS On Live Television Upon Hearing The Unbiased CNN's Anderson Cooper Calling President Trump An Obese Turtle Flailing On His Back! Relax, Steve. It's just an election. It's Official! The winner of the 2020 presidential is... The old white man with mental issues! Jim Duchene Chief Fake News Correspondent American Chimpanzee JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene   

  Fake News Reports!    In A Beloved Holiday Tradition, President Trump Pardons Corn The Turkey For Thanksgiving! "We're AGAINST turkey pardons," declares a hostile media. In A Beloved Holiday Tradition, President Trump Pardons Corn The Turkey For Thanksgiving! Pro-Choice advocates immediately bemoan this as "a bad example."    In A Beloved Holiday Tradition, President Trump Pardons Corn The Turkey For Thanksgiving! "That turkey is dead to us," says the progressive left.    In A Beloved Holiday Tradition, President Trump Pardons Corn The Turkey For Thanksgiving! And then slips in a quick one for himself hoping no one's looking.    In A Beloved Holiday Tradition, President Trump Pardons A Turkey For Thanksgiving! I'm talking about Michael Flynn.    Jim Duchene Fake News Chief Correspondent       American Chimpanzee JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene   

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine desertexposure.com    My elderly father refuses to admit it, but his daily walks are taking their toll on him.      And me.      Mainly me.      He no longer walks as far, he no longer walks as long, but he's still determined to get out there and worry me to death.       "I don't feel like going," he'll sometimes say, but before I can encourage him not to torture himself, he's grumbling his way out the door. He's so stubborn, he even aggravates himself.      If it's hot, I'll tell him to wait until it's cooler. He'll refuse. Sometimes he'll even put on a light jacket. I'm positive it's just to irritate me. When it's cold, he'll head out the door in shorts and a t-shirt.      "At least put on a sweater," I told him.       "It’s not cold," he argued.  ...