American Chimpanzee

  Fake News Reports!    Despite The Record Number Of Actors Of Color Who Were Nominated, Racist Hollywood Made Sure That Not One Went Home With An Emmy! “And we didn’t vote for Larry Elder, either.” ********** Seth Rogan Created A Bit Of A Stir At The Emmys When He Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… ********** THIS JUST IN :    Aurora James, The Designer Of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Very Expensive "Tax The Rich" 2021 Met Gala Dress, Is Rich And Hasn’t Paid Her Taxes! “By ‘tax the rich,’ I meant you, not me.” Spoken like a true socialist. **********    MSNBC’s Joy Reid On Her Show “The ReidOut”Accuses The Racist News Media Of “Missing White Women Syndrome” Concerning Their Coverage Of Gabby Petito As Opposed To Missing Black Women! Excuse me, Joy, aren’t YOU the media? “So what’s your point?” ********** Joe Biden Addresses The United Nations General Assembly And… And… Aw, geez. There he goes again. “Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…” ********** David Simon, Creator Of HBO...

  HELLO, DELI! to the tune of Hello Dolly (Louis Armstrong version) Hello, Deli! What’s on sale, Deli? At that price I’ll add a slice of provolone It sure looks good, Deli As it should, Deli Smoker’s smokin’, I’m not jokin’, ham off the fokin’ bone The smells are enticin’ Slicer’s thin slicin’ You’ve got Reubens, BLTs, and Smoked Turkey Clubs And it’s all fresh, Deli Your meatballs are the best, Deli Deli'll never skimp on Meatball Subs (trumpet solo)  The smells are enticin’ Slicer’s thin slicin’ You’ve got Reubens, BLTs, and Smoked Turkey Clubs Add some brie, Deli Buy two, get one free, Deli Deli'll never skimp on Meat Deli'll never skimp on Meat Deli'll never skimp on Meatball Subs!    American Chimpanzee JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com @JimDuchene     

  Fake News Reports!   HBO’s Social Commentator Bill Maher Reports About A Police Raid On Covid Patients Who Were Being Treated With Drugs At A Taiwanese Hospital And Were Engaging In Excessive Sex Acts And All I Want To Know Is… …where can I get some of those drugs? ********** The Black National Anthem Made Its NFL Debut On 9-10-21! Sadly, after also playing the Native American, Hispanic, Caucasian, Asian, Indian, Middle Eastern, Jewish, Pygmy, Wiccan, & LGBT-ETC national anthems there was no time left to play the actual game. ********** THIS JUST IN: Racist Californians Keep Rich White Man Rather Than Electing The State’s First Black Man As Governor! **********    The Very White Gavin Newsom Wins The California Recall Election Against Larry Elder, Who Would Have Been The State’s First Black Governor! “Way to go, California!” the KKK congratulates. ********** Breaking News:    General Milley, The Architect Of The Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal, Calls G...

 as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine 2021 has been a milestone for my 6-year-old granddaughter (and if anyone can tell me what a milestone is, I’d be grateful). A few months back she rode her bike without training wheels for the first time, and recently she swam without floaties .     I guess all kids look cute, but she looked ESPECIALLY cute dog-paddling across the pool all by herself. She’s evolved to a more traditional way of swimming now, and, cold water or not, is not afraid to jump in. That little girl takes up a lot of my time, but the day will come when she'll have other things to do and other people to do them with, so I'll enjoy it while I can.      Myself, I didn't learn to swim until I was 13, and only because I didn't want to look like a dork to any of the girls at the public pool. You can't put a move on somebody when you're drowning.      My mother, bless her heart, was deathly afraid of water....

   F ake News Reports! White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki Confirms Joe Biden Plans To Visit The Northeast After The Devastating Hurricane Ida And Promises He Will Not Check His Watch The Entire Time He’s There! ********** El Salvador Has Become The First Country To Accept Bitcoin As Its Official Currency Because… “…our country doesn’t have enough problems.” ********** Searchers Miraculously Find Three-Year-Old Boy Who Got Lost In The Australian Outback! Upon his rescue, the toddler was immediately forced to the ground and arrested for not wearing a mask. ********** Salon, The Entirely Digital Fake News Media Outlet, Reaches Out To Satan To Stop Texas’ New Abortion Law! “You guys are nucking futs,” an amused Prince of Darkness observes, politely declining. ********** The Bloomberg Quicktake Reports That Joe Biden Blames MEATPACKERS For The Rising Cost Of Food! “Well, I got to blame SOMEBODY,” he sputters. ********** Scientists And Virologists Confirm That Covid-19 And The Common...

 F ake News Reports! One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. But when that other man takes it home, his wife will say, “How many times do I have to tell you? Quit bringing home trash!” ********** Joe Biden Has Called His Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal An “Extraordinary Success” What else is on the president’s list of extraordinary successes? “The play Abraham Lincoln was watching when he was assassinated comes to mind,” he says. ********** The Withdrawal Being An “Extraordinary Success, Joe Biden Declared “Mission Accomplished” And General Milley Wrapped Up A Day Early! So how are there still over a thousand American hostages trapped in Afghanistan? “Trump did it!” ********** The Withdrawal’s An “Extraordinary Success” Joe Biden Declares! “Mission Accomplished” He Informs General Milley, Who Wraps Up A Day Early! So how could NGO planes ready to airlift Americans to safety be grounded at an airport in northern Afghanistan? “Trump did it,” they cry. ********** Fake News Outlet Reute...

  F ake News Reports! You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, and those sound like some pretty good odds to me. ********** My wife tells me she has it all. All the cooking, all the cleaning, and all the child-raising. ********** Department Of Agriculture Officials Were Attacked By Murder Hornets In Washington State! Nancy Pelosi has immediately begun impeachment proceedings against President Trump regarding his part in this insect insurrection. ********** The Interpreter Who Once Rescued Joe Biden In Afghanistan Begs The President To Rescue Him! “Don’t worry,” the president assured his savior, “we’ve given your name to the Taliban for special consideration.” ********** After Calling His Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal An “Extraordinary Success,” Joe Biden Was Asked What Else He Considered Extraordinarily Successful! “Well, up until they hit that iceberg, those people on the Titanic were having a nice boat ride.” ********** Have you ev...