American Chimpanzee

This Just In! According to the Odessa American newspaper, an Odessa, Texas prostitution sting netted a SIXTY-SEVEN-year-old prostitute! Man, a business transaction like THAT should come with a coupon for a free bowl of soup.   This Just In! Beyoncé's & JayZ's On The Run II Tour! "We call it On The Run TWO because, as artists, we are bereft of original ideas," they admitted, laughing all the way to the bank.   This Just In! China Moves To Let President Xi Jinping Rule INDEFINITELY! "We're a communist dictatorship," the Chinese Legislature explained upon pain of death. "Why pretend otherwise?"   This Just In! Syria and Afghanistan Ranked WORST Countries To Be A Woman! by the 2018 Women, Peace, and Security Index! Iceland Ranked Best! If they had any women, that is.   This Just In! Syria and Afghanistan Ranked WORST Countries To Be A Woman! by the 2018 Women, Peace, and Security Index! I guess the bra...

It's OFFICIAL! Downtown El Paso's tourists and shoppers will now have to PAY for parking on Saturdays! "Running the government is hard work," explains one elected official. "We're doing all we can to ruin everybody's business."   I think of you often. Assuming that thinking of you thinking of me counts as thinking of you.   My father always said: "There is no such thing as a stupid question. Just a stupid person asking that question."   WOW! Look at ALL that beautiful snow! I wonder how long it will take me to start complaining about it?   Things To Do Today: 1) Do TWICE as much today as I did yesterday. What I did yesterday: Nothing. zero times two equals zero Math RULES!   Movie Review! Black Panther! Breaking Box Office Records! As well as records for most yelling at the screen while the movie is playing.   Movie Review! Black Panther! Breaking All Kinds Of Records! $1 BILLION Wo...