The Week In Tweets: Special "Where's Buttigieg?" Edition!

 Fake News Reports!


El Paso, Texas!
Where else can you go through all four seasons in one day?
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What does daylight saving time mean in Seattle? 
An extra hour of rain.
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What do you call a month's worth of rain? 
England.
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Netflix Employees To Stage A Walkout Because They Didn’t Get Their Way!
“Waaah!” a spokesman for the disgruntled employees explained. “Waaah!”
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Today Is National Pronouns Day!
For those of you who want to make confusing personal pronouns commonplace, listen to Demi Lovato.
That’s what you sound like.
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Condoleezza Rice Goes On ABC’s The View!
I understand that qualifies for combat pay.
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The Albuquerque Journal Wonders Who—The Governor Or The Legislature—Should Spend Federal Relief Funds!
Well, since you’re asking, how about ME?
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THIS JUST IN:
Giant Asteroid Hurtling Toward The Earth.
Contact Imminent!
Humanity Doomed!
“I’ll get right on it,” Buttigieg promises, as he heats up a bottle of formula for his new baby. “Next week.”
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THIS JUST IN:
Rome Burns!
Nero Fiddles!
Buttigieg Changes Diapers!
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Self Checkout?
Heck, I do that every time I pass a mirror.
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Jude Law, Marion Cotillard, Andrea Riseborough, And Josh O’Connor Will Star With Kate Winslet In The Ellen Kuras-Directed Movie “Lee”!
A Civil War drama honoring the great Confederate General Robert E. Lee.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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