Dear John: Special To-The-Point Edition

Hard Core Advise From

Hard Core's Hardest Core...
John Leslie!

 
 
Dear John,
     I've been keeping a secret from my grandmother. I have a 17-month-old daughter that she doesn't know about. I wanted to tell he from the start, but my family thought telling her would cause her too much stress.
     I think my grandmother should know she's a great-grandma. The problem is, I don't know how to tell her. She's 90-years-old, and I'm afraid if I say something now, it really might be too stressful for her.
     Also, I'm afraid that if I reveal this secret, it will start a family feud.
     I want a relationship with my grandmother like I used to have. I cry every time I have to hide my daughter in the dog crate and tell Grammie it's a new puppy whenever she comes by to visit.
     Please help.
     --Liar
 

Dear Liar,

I told you, the baby's not mine! Now quit bothering me.

 
 
Dear John,
     I'm in my 70's, married for 50 years. I worked outside the home all my life, and earned my retirement benefits. There have been many ups and downs in my life, for me personally as well as for members of my family, but there have been good times, too. I feel blessed.
     All my life I have been the "go-to girl" for my family--as a wife, mother, sister, and aunt--for help or advice. I love them all, but I'm tired. How do I retire my crown, which has been overwhelming at times, without hurting or alienating anyone?
     There seems to be so many problems and only one of me. Many times I have felt stretched too thin, but now my health and energy are no longer what they once were. I am reasonably healthy, but I'm very tired.
     I value my Judeo/Christian belief of "doing unto others."
     Am I being selfish?
     --Weary
 

Dear Weary,

Yes, you are.

 
 
Dear John,
     My friend has been hooking up with a guy for a few weeks now. He was her first, and I know she really likes him. They are not dating, but I never thought they would. She's a real pig, but, since I'm her friend, I don't tell her anything.
     The other night, I went ice skating with her and him. The whole time he was trying to make eye contact and flirt with me, because, to tell the truth, I'm really hot. At least in comparison to her. After the night ended, he texted her, telling her that he didn't want to hook-up with her anymore "because you deserve better." Then he texted ME and said that he likes me more, and that he could actually see himself with me "but we'd have to hook-up first."
     He lives in another state, and is only in town every so often. I really do want to be with him because I know he's my type, but after how he broke up with my friend and how hurt she is, I feel it would be wrong. If I started seeing him I would have to hide it from her, which I have no problem with, because, like I said before, she's a pig and I'm not.
     Please help! I need advise fast and I have no idea what to do.
     --Confused
  

Dear Confused,

If it wasn't for friends like you... men would actually have to try harder.
 

Confidential to Blindsided

It's not you, it's me. No... it's you.

 

American Chimpanzee

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