The Week In Solar Eclipse Tweets

Eclipse Superstitions:

Hell will close its brimstone gates and the dead will walk the Earth.

My ex will fit right in.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

Satan will return to claim the souls promised him in exchange for fame and fortune.

So long, Justin Beiber & Miley Cyrus.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

OneDirection will reunite!

Just long enough to announce they're not reuniting.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

The world will awaken and realize taking music that already exists and turning it into a rap song is NOT a talent.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

Will Britney Spears & Justin Beiber no longer lip sync and actually SING in concert?

Ha! That would take real talent.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

At the apex of the Solar Eclipse, Scientologists worldwide will spontaneously combust.

One can hope, can't one?

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

Scientology leader Tom Cruise will break his ankle doing a movie stunt.

What?

It already happened?

Damn, I'm good.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

ISIS terrorists across the globe will peacefully lay down their arms anticipating the end of the world.

Sometimes ignorance is a wonderful thing.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

Is THAT The Righteous Finger of God?

Sadly, no.

It's only the finger of the driver I just cut off because it's so dark.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

No need to wear special glasses for the Solar Eclipse.

The sun's rays contain Vitamin D, so they're actually GOOD for your eyes.

 

Eclipse Superstitions:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My EYES!

 

FYI:

NEVER look directly at the sun during a solar Eclipse.

Because the sun is shy and might become flustered and refused to reappear.

 

Solar Eclipse:

"It's not dark yet, but it's getting there."

--Bob Dylan

 

Eclipse Chasers spend their lives traveling to and experiencing every Solar Eclipse.

"And maybe some day we'll even get to go on a date."

 

Next Solar Eclipse?

2024!

Sorry, sun, but I've got plans.

Maybe it's better if we don't see each other anymore.

It's not you, it's me.

 

 

American Chimpanzee

JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com

RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com

@JimDuchene