"You're a man of Faith, aren't you, Governor Perry?" "Yes, I am. I've read the Bible 14 times, and when I get to the part where Jesus builds the ark and saves all the animals, I find that incredibly inspiring." "Uh, it was Noah who built the ark." "What?" "It was Noah who built the ark." "Are you saying I'm wrong? I'm not wrong, I'm the man! And you'll notice that Jesus didn't save the unicorns. That's because unicorns have horns... the devil has horns... I don't think I need to spell it out for you." "Do you feel, then, that your political career has been more of a calling than a choice?" "Let me put it this way: I've never lost an election. Never. I give all credit to my Lord and God, Yahtzee." "Uh...
as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine desertexposure.com I don’t know what it is about newspapers, but they must think their readers have unlimited time and money to cook the recipes they feature in their pages. Most of us, we have jobs. We don’t want to come home and spend hours fixing something that can easily be bought at Sam’s or Costco or the corner gas station. Not to mention the cleanup afterward. Also, if I fill my refrigerator with food, where am I going to keep my beer? The recipes always seem to require a cornucopia of ingredients that you probably don’t have and will never use again. I don’t think Jesus multiplied the fishes into a number that high. It just seems to me that newspapers should acknowledge that we live in a different world now, and there’s no longer enough hours in the day for us to prepare these extravagant meals. Recently, my local newspaper printed something by T...
We were in Mexico for two weeks. My wife and I considered this vacation our official honeymoon s ince we never went on a proper one when we jumped the broom 25 years ago . The first week we spent at an exclusive resort in Cancun called Krystal. It was all-inclusive, meaning the food, the drinks, the female companionship was already paid for. I'm kidding about the female companionship part. At least if my wife is reading this. As we entered the resort, the first person who came up to us was a guy selling timeshares. I tell my kids when someone you don’t know walks up to you with a smile on their face they want to sell you something, and this guy had a BIG smile on his face. He was young, with movie-star good looks, so I took a picture of him schmoozing my wife and her cousin Laura and sent it to my youngest daughter ...
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