The Week In Tweets: Special Slowest Runner Edition!

I saw a man at the beach. He was in the ocean yelling: "Help! Shark!"
I had to laugh.
That shark wasn't going to help him.
  
I was hiking in the woods with some friends when we accidentally got between a mama grizzly bear and her cub.
Do you know what the Park Rangers call the chewy stuff between a grizzly bear's teeth?
The slowest runner.
  
When my wife gives me chores, I tell her to give me as many as she wants.
It's just as easy for me to ignore a lot as it is to ignore a little.
  
I have a question for you:
Say you take an elixir that gives you eternal life. Now you're immortal. Nothing can kill you. Now say you're at ground zero of an atomic blast. In a fraction of a second, you are incinerated into ashes. Since you can never die...
What happens to your consciousness?
  
I always finish what I start.
As long as it's food.
  
It's just as good to give a person money as it is to lend them money.
It works out about the same.
  
Ah... the weekend!
*blink*
Ugh... Monday.
  
I only ask you about your day so I can tell you about mine.
  
The FBI doesn't let me exercise.
I'm in the Fitness Protection Program.The highway I adopted wants to find its real parents.
  
Ugh... Tuesday.
Or, as I like to say, "It's Monday morning all over again."
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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