The Week In Tweets: Special Ergo Ego Edition!

 Fake News Reports!

It’s the weekend.
I think I’ll take off my ego, put on my bathing suit, and go to the pool.

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When Texas Democrats Escaped To Washington DC On Monday They Took Along Their Integrity And A Case Of Miller Light!
Man, I guess graft doesn’t pay what it used to.

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A White Penn State Professor Singles Out White Student & Ridicules Him In Front Of His Fellow College Students For Being White And Benefiting From His Whiteness!
   Will this professor quit so a black professor can take his place?
“Heck no,” he wokes.

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Arizona Governor Doug Ducey Uses Federal Cash To Boost Unemployment Fund!
“Why doesn’t anyone want to go back to work,” the governor lamented as he signed the order.

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New Mexico Regulators Investigate San Juan Generating Station’s Cooling Tower Collapse!
“Yep, it’s collapsed,” they confirm.

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New Mexico Paid $1.5 MILLION To Advertise The State During Sir Richard Branson’s Virgin Galactic Space Flight!
“New Mexico?” mused Lord Xenu, Scientology’s Favorite Dictator of the Galactic Confederacy. “Seems like a nice place.”

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New Mexico’s Space Industry Program Is Now Accepting Applications!
Good thing I identify as an astronaut.

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At night, when I look into the infinity of the night sky, it makes me feel small and insignificant.
But not as much as my mother-in-law does.

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My wife and I are sending her mother on a trip for her birthday.
We can use the vacation.

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Believe it or not, I like it when my mother-in-law visits us on Sunday.
It makes the rest of the week seem so much better by comparison.

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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
American Chimpanzee
@JimDuchene

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