I overslept and MISSED the Royal Wedding!
I never would have woken up if Queen Elizabeth hadn't snuck into my bed.
One of the many celebrities at the Royal Wedding was George Clooney and his lovely wife, Ralph.
"I didn't know you knew George," I asked Prince Harry.
"I've never met him before in my life!"
Touchingly, Meghan Markle invited some of her cast mates from her hit TV show Suits to the Royal Wedding.
And they did a fine job making sure the royal toilets didn't back up.
My favorite James Bond, the very elderly Sean Connery, made a brief appearance at the Royal Wedding.
"Who are these people?" he said, congratulating the royal family. "What am I doing here?"
"Blofeld! I'll get you yet!"
The geriatric Elton John canceled two performances in Las Vegas to be at the Royal Wedding, even though he wasn't invited. There's a lot of things you could say about the cranky singer...
All of them bad.
What a great time I had at the Royal Wedding. The Dollar Dance was fun, but particularly disappointing cash-wise.
Hollywood celebrities are CHEAP!
The Royal Wedding over, I was sad on my way to the airport.
"Don't leave me!" cried Queen Elizabeth, as she ran after me down The Long Walk.
Imagine my surprise when I opened the overhead bin in the plane taking me home and found her hiding there.