The Week In Tweets: Special Cheating On Your Wife Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

A 2nd Amendment Special Report:

Aspiring Mass Shooters In Texas Are Increasingly Concerned Chosen Victims May Be Armed!

  

Swarms Of Hungry Locust Wrecking Havoc In African And Asian Countries!

Um... haven't locust been a problem since the dawn of life on Earth?

Yeah, but we got nothing else to report.

  

LeBron James Finally Speaks Out About The Houston Astros' Signal-Stealing Cheating Scandal!

"As long as they don't say anything bad about China, I'm good."

  

Ben Affleck's Confiding To Anybody Who Will Listen That Divorcing Jennifer Garner Is His Biggest Regret!

"But I sure don't regret cheating on her with all those hot, young starlets, though," he says, grinning lasciviously.

  

A Swarm Of Forty THOUSAND Bees Attacked First Responders In Pasadena, California, Sending Many Of Them To The Hospital!

I sure would've hated being the one in charge of counting them all.
  
Bernie Sanders' Glowing Remarks About Communist Cuba Under Fidel Castro To 60 Minutes Draws Outrage!
"What part of my being a communist don't you understand?" he honestly wants to know.
  
Presidential Wannabe Mike Bloomberg Admits His Poor Performance At Last Week's Democratic Debate!
"I liked it better when I didn't have to show up," he reminisces fondly.
  
"As Americans, We Should Be Frightened," Warns Retired Navy Admiral William McRaven In An Op-Ed He Wrote For The Washington Post, "...Of CLOWNS!"
  
Like Two Drunks In A Bar Arguing Over Who's The Biggest Drunk, Reporter Jim Acosta Tells President Trump That CNN's "Record On Delivering The Truth Is A Lot Better Than Yours... SOMETIMES."
  
Michelle Janavs, The Hot Pocket Heiress, SENTENCED After Pleading Guilty In The Felicity Huffman/Lori Loughlin College Admission Scandal!
Her punishment?
Five to then years... of eating Hot Pockets!
   
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
   
  

American Chimpanzee

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Poop & Privlege

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine

desert exposure.com

    

Nobody likes a poopy diaper.

   Nobody, that is, except me.

   As strange as it sounds, I’ve always considered it a privilege to change my children’s--and now my grandchildren’s--diapers.

   Other kids? Not so much.

   Being a man, since nature has so effectively kept men out of the equation when it comes to baby-raising duties that bond a parent with their child--such as breastfeeding--I had to take my bonding moments where I could find them.

   Now, briefly, this isn’t a dissertation about gender stereotypes or male-female roles, it’s a discussion about poopy diapers, so let’s leave social politics out of it, although, now that I think about it, poopy diapers and politics seem to go hand in hand.

   Poopy diapers, besides being unsanitary, are uncomfortable. Once soiled, babies have no other recourse than to sit in their own waste until someone notices, and I’ve always considered it my job to notice. Sometimes I’ve noticed too well, and changed diapers that were perfectly clean.

   “Don’t you know how expensive diapers are?” my wife would chastise me.

   I gladly took the chastisement. Better a hundred clean diapers be thrown away, than one dirty diaper remain longer than absolutely necessary, to paraphrase Benjamin Franklin in a way he never expected. Voltaire and William Blackstone have also been credited with saying a different variation of our founding-father’s famous quote, but, when it comes to Voltaire,  I don’t trust a man with only one name. As for Blackstone, isn’t he a magician? What does a magician know about the law, or changing diapers for that matter?

   “Alla-kazaam! The dirty diaper has now disappeared!”

   “Ahhhh! Where’s my baby?"

   In time, I became a diaper-changing expert, offering unsolicited advice to anyone polite enough to not tell me to mind my own business.

   “Always wipe away from the main event.”

   “Make sure the diaper’s not too tight.”

   “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Move along.”

   I’m not a germaphobe, but even I know that nothing good ever grows in a poopy diaper. Ever hear of salmonella, norovirus, or listeria? Neither had I, until I looked them up for this article. Besides learning where the name of the mouthwash Listerine came from, I also learned that these are a few of the germs that can be found in dirty diapers. They can cause illness or sickness, sometimes even at the same time.

   When changing your baby’s diapers, start with washing your hands first. You don’t know what you’ve touched, and you don’t want to know. Take it from me, your hands are filthy. They’re filthy because everything you touch is filthy. And what do filthy hands do? Filthy hands can spread the many germs that might cause your baby to get sick.

   You don’t want that, do you?

   I didn’t think so.

   Since we’re on the subject of things that are filthy, something you may not realize is that the convenient diaper-changing stations thoughtfully installed by restaurants and businesses, those are filthy, too. During a simple diaper change, this contamination can transmit gastrointestinal disease-causing pathogens. I’m not even sure what pathogens are, but they sure sound bad.

   You see, during the many diaper changes that occurred before you even got there, the diaper-changing table probably came into contact with dirty diapers, and the urine and feces that filled them like a calzone.

   I know I’m guilty of contaminating the baby-changing station. Whenever I’ve used it to change my baby, I’ve alway put the dirty diaper to the side, out of the way, while finishing up the job. Oh, sure, I wrapped it up tighter than a Christmas gift from Scrooge, because I just roll that way, but it was still sitting on the table until I threw it away. You can bet I won’t do that anymore. In the future, I’ll just ask a good samaritan to hold the soiled diaper for me until I’m done. I’ve learned in life that if you hand somebody something, they’ll usually take it.

   Personally, I always felt a deep satisfaction changing my youngest daughter’s diapers. It was one thing she couldn’t do for herself. When my wife would put a breast to her mouth, instinct would take over and she would suckle. What, as a man, could I do that was more important than that?

   Change diapers?

   Lucky me.

   My father, on the other hand, never changed a diaper in his life. If one of his children soiled themselves under his watch, he would wait until our mother came home to take care of the problem. It was a different time, I’ve been told.

   I suppose that’s true, but remembering how my little girl would smile and look at me with her beautiful eyes as I was changing her diaper, I can’t help but feel that my father missed out on something special.

  
  

Raising My Father

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JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com  American Chimpanzee

@JimDuchene
  

The Week In Tweets: Special Shatman Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

Polls Show That Bernie Sanders Leads The Other Presidential Wannabes In Donations From Big Tech Employees Who...

"...just want our student loans paid off, man."

  

THOUSANDS Of Women March, Making Their Voices Heard In Anti-Government Protests Taking Place In Iraq!

Services will be held Wednesday.

  

The Church Of England Apologizes For Its Last 70 Years Of Racism!

But hasn't the Church of England been around for five HUNDRED years, maybe even dating back to 597 AD?

"I'm afraid I don't see your point, old chap," a church spokesman cheerios.
  
The Philippine Government Is Poised To End A Major Military Agreement With The United States!
"Just keep sending us money," they say.
  
In An Act Of Papal Infallibility, Pope Francis Has Ruled Against The Ordination Of Married Men As Catholic Priests In the Amazon!
"They'll just have to be satisfied molesting young boys like the rest of us."
  
Astronomers Have Discovered A Mysterious Radio Signal In Deep Space!
Isn't the universe FILLED with radio signals?
"Yes."
Then what makes this one special?
"Because we found it."
  
Massachusetts State Representative David Nangle Has Been ARRESTED For Allegedly "Misusing Campaign Funds"!
  How can you tell he's a Democrat?
Because the news media isn't reporting that part of his political biography.
  
How Can You Tell The Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich--Whose 14-Year Prison Sentence Was Commuted By President Trump--Is A Democrat?
Because the news media isn't reporting that part of his political biography.
  
Batman?
I've just seen pictures of Robert Pattinson in the new costume.
It's more like Shatman.
  
The American Dental Association Has Revealed That An Overwhelming Majority Of Dentists Prefer Electric Toothbrushes Over Manual Toothbrushes!
Personally, I prefer women.
  
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent

  

  

American Chimpanzee

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The Week In Tweets: Special Valentine's Day Edition!

Fake News Reports!

The Usually Shy And Private Colin Kaepernick Will Soon Be Publishing His Memoir!

If I knew hating America would get me a book deal, I would have done it years ago.

  

Stanford Researchers Say Plastic-Eating Mealworms Are The Answer To Humanity's Waste Problem!

Those mealworms will eat anything.

In a related story, 'Mealworm" is my ex's nickname.

  

The World Health Organization Officially Changes The Names Of The Coronavirus To COVID-19!

"So now we can honestly says there have been NO deaths due to the Coronavirus," a Chinese spokesman gleefully announces.

  

This Just In!

The Russian Intercontinental Hypersonic Weapon Has Become OPERATIONAL!

Now they'll be able to interfere in our elections 27 times faster than the speed of sound.

  

Six Word Horror Story:

Cupid's arrow had a poison tip.

    

An Anonymous Bidder Bought Tupac Shakur's Prison I.D. For Thirty THOUSAND Dollars!

"Now, every day, I can look at it and say: 'What the heck was I thinking?'"

  

Six Word Horror Story:

I stole her heart.

Quite literally.

A Copy Of The 1868 Treaty Between The Two Great Nations Was Generously Donated To The Navajos By The United States!

"We're giving you this," a representative said, "because we're sure as hell not giving you anything else."

  

In An Interview With Telemundo, Presidential Wannabes Amy Klobuchar And Tom Steyer Did NOT Know The Name Of The President Of Mexico!

As a proud Latino American I would find that insulting to my intelligence, except...

I don't know his name either.

  

The New Mexico Supreme Court Is Considering Allowing Non-Lawyers To Provide Civil Legal Services To People Unable To Afford An Attorney!

A NON-lawyer?

Finally, a job my son-in-law is qualified for.

  

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

  

  

American Chimpanzee

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The Week In Tweets: Special Falling Iguanas Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

Diane Gardea, A Fugitive On El Paso's Most Wanted List, Was Arrested At Her East Side Home!

"They'll never look for me here," she chuckled, just before they broke down her door.

  

A CDC Study's Findings Indicate That A Lot Of People Eat Fast Food!

While, in another study costing taxpayers millions of dollars, it was verified that you need to breathe "if you want to stay alive."

  

Eco-Scientists Have Determined That The Disappearance Of Bumblebees Is Due To The Hotter Temperatures Caused By Global Warming!

I've always wondered why I no longer see the cute little critters when I'm spraying my flower garden with pesticides.

  

Researchers Claim That From The Mummified Remains Of A THREE THOUSAND-Year-Old Egyptian Priest They've Recreated His Voice And...

"You'll have to take our word for it since the only people who can prove we're wrong have been dead for three thousand years."

  

The Weather In Florida This Past Winter Was So Cold That Iguanas Were Falling From Trees!

On the plus side, grilled iguanas are DELICIOUS!

  

Scientists Warn That The Red Super-Giant Star Betelgeuse May Supernova Soon!

"Of course, by 'soon' we mean in a few hundred million years," they clarified, chuckling like a gaggle of naughty 1st graders.

  

Scientists Admit That While 85% Of The Universe Is Made Up Of Dark Matter, They Don't Actually Know What Dark Matter Is!

I do.

If it's the most abundant thing in the cosmos, it must be stupidity.

  

Experts Say That Going Back To Work After A Three-Day Weekend Is Hard For Some People To Cope With.

I call those people losers.

  

In Gallup's Annual Poll, Both Donald Trump AND Barrack Obama TIED For 2019's "Most Admired Man"!

I'd make a joke, but my head's just exploded.

  

In An Effort To Improve Their Image, I.C.E. Will Be Changing Their Name To The NATIONAL Immigration & Customs Enforcement Because...

"How can anybody not like a N.I.C.E. agent?"

  

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

  

American Chimpanzee

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The Week In Tweets: Special Er... Ah... WHA? Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

This Just In!

There MIGHT Be A Friends TV Show Reunion On HBO Max!

The whole world yawns in excitement.

  

Everyone Has A Purpose In Life!

Mine is napping.

  

Winter Is Definitely Here!

My dog's fleas are vacationing in Florida.

  

Presidential Wannabe Joe Biden Called One Of His Female Supporters A "Lyin' Dog-Faced Pony Soldier"!

When asked why he would even say such a thing, he answered, "It works for Trump."

  

The World Health Organization Has Officially Changed The Name Of China's Dreaded Coronavirus To COVID-19 Because...

"...if it's harder to say, it's harder to catch."

  

Today, Americans Pay Tribute To Abraham Lincoln On His Birthday (02-12-1809)!

"That's so nice," he says from his great log cabin in the sky, "it makes me wish I was alive to enjoy it."

  

Today, The World Celebrates The Legacy Of Charles Darwin On His Birthday (02-12-1809)!

"That's so nice," he says from his mansion in Heaven, "it makes me wish I wasn't so wrong about evolution."

  

In A Landslide Republican Victory, President Trump WINS The New Hampshire GOP Primary!

"It helps if you have nobody running against you," he admits.

  

In A Response To A Question, Presidential Wannabe Joe Biden Admitted, "I Think We Could Run Mickey Mouse Against This President And Have A Shot."!

So what do the Democrats need YOU for?

"Er... ah... WHA?"

  
Fake News Special Report!

Life is better when you're five.

  

American Chimpanzee

JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com

RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com

@JimDuchene

  

The Week In Tweets: Special Pretentious Putz Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

James Bond Revealed To Be A Pretentious PUTZ!

When two martinis were taste-tested--one shaken, one stirred--it was determined that they BOTH tasted the same!

  

Experts Warn Hawaii That The Kilauea Volcano's Lava Is Now HOTTER And More FLUID!

Hot and liquidy... isn't that what lava is, Mr. Expert?

  

Scientists Theorize That Time Speed Up For 

A Person As They Get Older!

Unless they're waiting in line at a government agency.

  

Sociologists Agree That There Are TWO Kinds Of People In The World!

Those who live their lives in a constant state of happiness and those who want to punch those kind of people in the nose.

  

Attorney Alan Dershowitz Explains That It Is A Lawyer's Solemn Duty To Represent The Dregs Of Humanity. 

Killers. Rapists. Thieves.

"There's only one kind of criminal we won't defend," he clarifies.

"The broke."

  

An Examination Of A 3.3 Million-Year-Old Fossil Reveals That Prehistoric Toddlers CLIMBED TREES!

You know, just like kids do now.

  

Former President Obama Says Every Man Should Ask Three Questions Before Choosing His Mate.

"And then shut up and agree with them for the rest of your sad life."

  

Texas Health Officials Investigated 56 Cases Of People Infested With Parasites!

Their investigation stalls when it's discovered these parasites are actually politicians running for re-election.

  

Jennifer Lopez Says She DOESN'T Want To Marry Alex Rodriguez!

"I don't want to jinx our relationship," she explains. "Plus, he changes the subject every time I bring it up."

  

Eco-Scientists Warn That The Next Hurricane Will Be "DEVESTATING!"

In other words, it will be just like every other hurricane that's ever happened?

"Uh... yeah."

  

Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

  

  

American Chimpanzee

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The Week In Tweets: Special Disappearing Bumblebees Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Is Among A Handful Of Democrats Who Boycotted President Trump's State Of The Union Address!

Apparently, they also didn't show up to vote in his Impeachment Trial, either.
  
My ex only needs cosmetic surgery in two places:
Her face and her body.
  
Be the tequila, not the lime.
  
This Just In!
The Results Of The Iowa Caucus Have Been FOUND!
Turns out, they were under my refrigerator the whole time.
  
Argentina's Esperanza Base Reports That Antartica Has Reached It's Hottest Temperature EVER!
"Oh, my God! It's burning like the SUN!" the World Meteorological Organization says.
  
In China, Coronavirus Whistleblower, Dr. Li Wenliang, Has Died Of The Disease In A Wuhan Hospital!
"Who knew other symptoms of the fatal virus were bruising around the throat, neck fractures, and a lack of oxygen to the lungs?" a Chinese official said.
  
Esperanza Base, An Argentinian Research Station, Has Recorded Antartica's Hottest Temperature EVER!
Wait a minute... what's Argentina doing in Antartica?
  
Mitt Romney Sides With The Democrats And Votes President Trump GUILTY Of All Impeachment Charges!
"I'm a Mormon," he said, explaining his decision. "I'll believe anything."
  
Nancy Pelosi ACCUSES President Trump Of Looking "Sedated"!
"Why, no," she said, answering a reporter. "I DON'T own a mirror. Why do you ask?"
  
Eco-Scientists Have Determined That The Disappearance Of Bumblebees Is Due To The Hotter Temperatures Caused By Global Warming!
I've always wondered why I no long see the cute little critters when I'm spraying my flower garden with pesticides.

  

  

American Chimpanzee

JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com

RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com

@JimDuchene

  

The Week In Tweets: Special Big Tobacco Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

Six Word Horror Story:

And the groundhog predicted: No Survivors!

  

Hmm... it's raining outside.

Fortunately, it's always dry in my bed.

  

This Just In!

Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren... the DNC's prospect of winning the next presidential election is so low they're thinking of putting Donald Trump's name on today's Iowa Caucus.

  

Video Has Emerged Of Beyonce & Jay-Z Disrespecting The National Anthem During Sunday's Super Bowl!

Give them a break, America.

Don't you know how hard it is to claim the United States is a racist & unfair country when you're mega-rich & super-successful?

  

Fear Of Contracting The Deadly China Coronavirus Has Fueled Racism Against Asians!

That's true.

Even I would think twice before asking for a Happy Ending at Robert Kraft's favorite massage parlor.
  
Six Word Horror Story:
The babysitter's red lips dripped blood.
  
Six Word Horror Story:
Special State of the Union Edition!
Trump's message was: "I'm STILL President!"
  
This Just In!
Bernie Sanders WINS The Iowa Caucus!
But due to a voting "malfunction"...
  
The Winner Of The Iowa Caucus STILL Hasn't Been Determined!
"We haven't yet found a way to cheat Bernie Sanders out of his victory, while, at the same time, making sure the results seem legitimate," the DNC explains.
  
Big Tobacco Advocate Rush Limbaugh Announces On His Radio Show That He's Been Diagnosed With Advanced Lung Cancer!
Somewhere, Big Tobacco is laughing maniacally.

  

  

American Chimpanzee

JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com

RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com

@JimDuchene

  

Attack Of The Chickenbutt

as featured in Desert Exposure Magazine
desertexposure.com

Kids are funny.

     My granddaughter, now five, will ask me “Guess what?” with a mischievous grin.

     Okay, I’ll bite.

     “What?”

     “Chickenbutt!” she’ll say.

     And she’ll laugh and laugh and laugh.

     It’s become a running joke between the two of us.

     As you can tell, my granddaughter has a good sense of humor, but she’s also very sweet. Earlier today, she went to the pantry and got two Fruit Roll-Ups. I thought they were both for her, so I told her to put one back.

     “But this one’s for grandpa,” she told me, meaning my father. “I’m going to show him how to eat it.”

     Her big heart also extends to her great-grandfather’s dog. Whenever the mangy creature is by himself, she’ll carry him over to join us.

     ”He doesn’t like being alone,” she’ll explain.

     Lately, she’s been watching a cute cartoon on Netflix called Chip & Potato. It’s about a kindergarten-aged puppy who has a secret friend, a mouse she calls Potato.

     “Grandpa,” my granddaughter said, lifting her head up from the iPad she was watching. She used to call me daddy because that’s what she heard my daughters call me, but now she calls me grandpa. Or by my first name. Or kid. She has a lot of names for me.

     “Yes,” I answered.

     “If I see a bad mouse, I’ll scream,” she told me, “but if I see a good mouse I’m going to call her Potato.”

     I was touched by that, so I thought I’d buy her a Potato stuffed animal. I didn’t want to drive around looking for it, so I went to the Target website on the internet. They didn’t have one, so I went to the Walmart website. They didn’t have one either. Hey, if Walmart doesn’t have one, they don’t exist.

     Only they do. 

     On Ebay, I found homemade Chip & Potato dolls. For FIFTY bucks. PLUS shipping. I checked on Amazon. Theirs was $124.00!

     I love my granddaughter, but that was way past my price-point. Which, since you ask, is five dollars. For my granddaughter I’d up that to twenty.

     “Are you going to buy it for her?” my beautiful wife asked me.

     “No,” I said. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

     You know, for such a tiny woman she sure can punch.

     On Saturdays, my granddaughter and I will go to Las Fuentes, my father’s favorite restaurant, and buy him enchiladas for lunch. This past weekend I thought he’d like something different, so we bought him menudo instead.

     “They didn’t have enchiladas?” he complained.

     I bypassed his complaint by telling him the menudo was from his great-granddaughter.

     “She always remembers me,” my father said, smiling. “You know what your brother gives me? Cookies. HARD cookies. What teeth I have, he wants me to lose.”

     The Saturday before Christmas, on our way to the restaurant, we bought my father a holiday tin of cookies for dessert. Shortbread. You know, SOFT cookies. After putting in our special order for gourmet enchiladas, we usually go over to the Friends of the Public Library Bookstore to look around. The ladies who volunteer there love to see my granddaughter and she loves to see them, plus she generally makes out like a bandit. One lady in particular is especially smitten with her. When her mother passed away, she brought some of her mother’s jewelry, necklaces mostly, to sell. When we got there, she told my granddaughter to pick whichever necklace she wanted. My granddaughter’s eyes grew wide. She couldn’t believe her good fortune. To this day, she wears that necklace whenever she dresses up like a Disney princess.

     I don’t know if my granddaughter was thinking about the kindness and generosity of these ladies, but before we got out of the car she looked at me and asked, “Can we give my friends the cookies?”

     I told her that was a good idea, and it was. I felt bad that I wasn’t the one who came up with it, but I’m usually a day late and a dollar short when it comes to things like that. 

     Sadly, as every parent and grandparent knows, children also come with their share of heartbreak. As it turns out, my granddaughter suffers from asthma. If her asthma gets too bad she could end up in the hospital, which has happened. 

     In such situations my father always has some story he insists on telling us about a child who has died. I think he means it to be comforting, but I’d rather not hear those kinds of stories. The last time my granddaughter was in the hospital due to complications with her asthma, my father told me the sad story of Laurel Griggs, a 13-year-old actress who had recently died from a massive asthma attack. I can’t imagine her family’s pain.

     “Consider yourself lucky,” my father said when OUR little girl finally came home from the hospital.

     My wife gently took hold of my arm to keep me from saying something I’d regret.

     You know, for such a tiny woman she sure leaves bruises.

     Still, it’s best to concentrate on the good things in life. I took both my granddaughter and my youngest daughter to the movie Cats when it was playing in theaters awhile back. Why it wasn’t a hit, I don’t know. Well, maybe I do. My daughter took a ten-minute nap while watching it. Me? I loved it.

     “Grandpa’s crying,” my granddaughter whispered, ratting me out to my daughter and anyone else within earshot when Jennifer Hudson sang the show-stopper Memory.

     I leaned closer.

     “Snitches get stitches,” I teased, making my daughter laugh.

     On the drive home, I asked my granddaughter, “Did you like the movie?”

     “Yes,” she told me.

     “What was your favorite part?”

     “Chickenbutt!”

 

American Chimpanzee

JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com

RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com

@JimDuchene

The Week In Tweets: Special Is-The-Super-Bowl-Today? Edition!

Fake News Reports!

  

Prince Andrew Has Ignored All Requests From America's FBI For An Interview Concerning His Involvement With Jeffrey Epstein's Alleged Child Sex Trafficking Ring!

"Wouldn't you?" the happy-he's-a-British-citizen said.

  

I'm not saying my ex is a floozy, but the airlines let her fly for free because she's been classified as a Service Animal.

  

When I go to the doctor, I don't sit in a Waiting Room...

I sit in an I'm-Still-Waiting Room.

  

Whatever I do in life I always give 110%.

Why do I say that?

Because I'm bad at math.
 
Technology is slowly filling with artificial intelligence.
If there's any left over, they should give it to Congress.
 
If you're on a diet, keep this in mind:
Chewing gum alleviates hunger.
Chewing bacon alleviates it even more.
 
Scientists tell us that 85% of the universe is made up of Dark Matter, but they don't know what it is.
I do.
If it's the most abundant thing in the cosmos, it must be stupidity.
 
Light travels faster than sound.
That's why some people seem so much brighter before they begin to talk.
 
In Thursday's Press Conferences, Jennifer Lopez & Shakira Promise The World An "Empowering" Super Bowl Halftime Show!
So, ladies, what's it like for you two Latina superstars to finally be performing together?
"We're not talking to each other," they said.
 
Did The President ATTACK Don Lemon For Mocking Trump Supporters?
Or was President Trump DEFENDING his supporters from an attacking Don Lemon?
"I don't know, but can we use it for another impeachment?" Democrats wonder.

  

  

American Chimpanzee

JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com

RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com

@JimDuchene