Fake News Reports!
Diane Gardea, A Fugitive On El Paso's Most Wanted List, Was Arrested At Her East Side Home!
"They'll never look for me here," she chuckled, just before they broke down her door.
A CDC Study's Findings Indicate That A Lot Of People Eat Fast Food!
While, in another study costing taxpayers millions of dollars, it was verified that you need to breathe "if you want to stay alive."
Eco-Scientists Have Determined That The Disappearance Of Bumblebees Is Due To The Hotter Temperatures Caused By Global Warming!
I've always wondered why I no longer see the cute little critters when I'm spraying my flower garden with pesticides.
Researchers Claim That From The Mummified Remains Of A THREE THOUSAND-Year-Old Egyptian Priest They've Recreated His Voice And...
"You'll have to take our word for it since the only people who can prove we're wrong have been dead for three thousand years."
The Weather In Florida This Past Winter Was So Cold That Iguanas Were Falling From Trees!
On the plus side, grilled iguanas are DELICIOUS!
Scientists Warn That The Red Super-Giant Star Betelgeuse May Supernova Soon!
"Of course, by 'soon' we mean in a few hundred million years," they clarified, chuckling like a gaggle of naughty 1st graders.
Scientists Admit That While 85% Of The Universe Is Made Up Of Dark Matter, They Don't Actually Know What Dark Matter Is!
I do.
If it's the most abundant thing in the cosmos, it must be stupidity.
Experts Say That Going Back To Work After A Three-Day Weekend Is Hard For Some People To Cope With.
I call those people losers.
In Gallup's Annual Poll, Both Donald Trump AND Barrack Obama TIED For 2019's "Most Admired Man"!
I'd make a joke, but my head's just exploded.
In An Effort To Improve Their Image, I.C.E. Will Be Changing Their Name To The NATIONAL Immigration & Customs Enforcement Because...
"How can anybody not like a N.I.C.E. agent?"
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
No comments:
Post a Comment