Fake News Reports!
A 2nd Amendment Special Report:
Aspiring Mass Shooters In Texas Are Increasingly Concerned Chosen Victims May Be Armed!
Swarms Of Hungry Locust Wrecking Havoc In African And Asian Countries!
Um... haven't locust been a problem since the dawn of life on Earth?
Yeah, but we got nothing else to report.
LeBron James Finally Speaks Out About The Houston Astros' Signal-Stealing Cheating Scandal!
"As long as they don't say anything bad about China, I'm good."
Ben Affleck's Confiding To Anybody Who Will Listen That Divorcing Jennifer Garner Is His Biggest Regret!
"But I sure don't regret cheating on her with all those hot, young starlets, though," he says, grinning lasciviously.
A Swarm Of Forty THOUSAND Bees Attacked First Responders In Pasadena, California, Sending Many Of Them To The Hospital!
I sure would've hated being the one in charge of counting them all.
Bernie Sanders' Glowing Remarks About Communist Cuba Under Fidel Castro To 60 Minutes Draws Outrage!
"What part of my being a communist don't you understand?" he honestly wants to know.
Presidential Wannabe Mike Bloomberg Admits His Poor Performance At Last Week's Democratic Debate!
"I liked it better when I didn't have to show up," he reminisces fondly.
"As Americans, We Should Be Frightened," Warns Retired Navy Admiral William McRaven In An Op-Ed He Wrote For The Washington Post, "...Of CLOWNS!"
Like Two Drunks In A Bar Arguing Over Who's The Biggest Drunk, Reporter Jim Acosta Tells President Trump That CNN's "Record On Delivering The Truth Is A Lot Better Than Yours... SOMETIMES."
Michelle Janavs, The Hot Pocket Heiress, SENTENCED After Pleading Guilty In The Felicity Huffman/Lori Loughlin College Admission Scandal!
Her punishment?
Five to then years... of eating Hot Pockets!
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
Bernie Sanders' Glowing Remarks About Communist Cuba Under Fidel Castro To 60 Minutes Draws Outrage!
"What part of my being a communist don't you understand?" he honestly wants to know.
Presidential Wannabe Mike Bloomberg Admits His Poor Performance At Last Week's Democratic Debate!
"I liked it better when I didn't have to show up," he reminisces fondly.
"As Americans, We Should Be Frightened," Warns Retired Navy Admiral William McRaven In An Op-Ed He Wrote For The Washington Post, "...Of CLOWNS!"
Like Two Drunks In A Bar Arguing Over Who's The Biggest Drunk, Reporter Jim Acosta Tells President Trump That CNN's "Record On Delivering The Truth Is A Lot Better Than Yours... SOMETIMES."
Michelle Janavs, The Hot Pocket Heiress, SENTENCED After Pleading Guilty In The Felicity Huffman/Lori Loughlin College Admission Scandal!
Her punishment?
Five to then years... of eating Hot Pockets!
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
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