The Week In Tweets: Special The Thing I Hate Most Edition!

 Fake News Reports!


Things That Make Me Go Hmm:
Concerning Senator Karen, Why Do The People In Charge Of Writing The Tax Code Complain The Most About The Way The Tax Code Is Written?
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I’m not saying inflation is out of control, but last year it took both my wife and I to carry home a hundred dollars worth of groceries.
  These days, I just hand the bag to my toddler.
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I’m not saying my ex was easy, but when she wanted to get pregnant she saw the doctor.
When that didn’t work, she saw the pool boy.
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I’m not saying Elon Musk’s got too much money, but this Christmas he went up to Ol’ St. Nick and said, “Santa, what do YOU want?”
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After Being “Disappeared” By Her Government, Chinese Tennis Star Peng Shuai Takes Back Her Accusation That She Was Raped By A Chinese Official!
“And I’m not just saying that because I have a gun pointed at my head,” she affirmed.
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Texas’ Premier Media Outlet “The Chron” Confirms That Governor Abbott Has Officially Begun Construction On A Border Wall!
Just to clarify, is that to keep illegal immigrants out or just Californians?
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Canada’s Premier Media Outlet “The Walrus” Tells You “What Women (Still) Really Want”!
“Whatever you think it is,” they say, “it’s not.”
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I love Christmas.
I can’t wait to return all the thoughtful gifts I'm getting.
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THIS JUST IN:
Congresswoman Mary Gay Scanlon Was CARJACKED At GUNPOINT In BROAD DAYLIGHT This Afternoon In South Philadelphia!
“Defund the police?” the Democrat wailed. “WHAT WERE WE THINKING?”
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The thing I hate most about office Christmas parties is waking up the next morning hungover and unemployed.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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