The Week In Tweets: Special Shortage Of Bugs Edition!

 Fake News Reports!


Women made me fat.
Betty Crocker, Mrs. Butterworth, Aunt Jemima…
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The Los Angeles Times Weighs In With Legal Experts Over Whether Or Not Alec Baldwin’s Television ABC News Interview Was A Risky Move!
“Legal experts? I know better than legal experts. I’M Alec Baldwin!”
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Daily Mail Celebrity Is Giddy To Announce The First Trailer For The  Harry Potter Reunion “Is HERE” And “It’s MAGICAL”!
And—ABRACADABRA!—they made JK Rowling disappear just like THAT.
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Reuters Reports Columbian Authorities Have Seized Hundreds Of Arachnids Being Illegally Smuggled Into Europe!
Who knew Europe had a shortage of bugs?
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After Tuesday’s Election, The Albuquerque Journal Reports That The Voters Complaining About Their City Council Have Voted The Same Politicians Back Into Office!
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THIS JUST IN:
Joe Biden Murders An Innocent Tree And Leaves It’s Decomposing Corpse For America To See!
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Telegraph Global Health Security Wonders: “Will We End Up Having Booster Jabs Forever?”
You just do what you’re told, capeesh?
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I don’t care WHAT my mother says, nagging is NOT protected under the 1st Amendment.
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My therapist gives me a discount if I pretend I’m someone else.
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Christmas is the time of year to tell your family exactly how you feel about them.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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