The Week In Tweets: Special Biden Catches Cold Edition!

Fake News Reports!


The price of gas has gotten so high it’s become cheaper to buy cocaine and just run everywhere.
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Jack Dorsey Announces He Is Stepping Down As Twitter CEO!
In a related story:
NO ONE CARES BUT JACK DORSEY!
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THIS JUST IN:
CNBC's Jim Cramer DEMANDS Joe Biden Impose A Nationwide Vaccine Mandate And Use The Military To Enforce It!
“I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” he could be heard screaming as he was being led away from his studio.
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A Team Of USA Today Reporters Studying 126 Years Of Federal Data Have Determined That Rainfall This Year Is High Due To Climate Change!
Oh, how I long for the days when it never rained.
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THIS JUST IN:
Police Involved In A Shootout In NW Albuquerque!
“Is it Thursday already?” police spokesman Gilbert Gallegos says, shaking his head.
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In A Television Interview About The Fatal Movie Set Shooting Where Cinematographer Halyna Hutchins Was Tragically Killed, Alec Baldwin Reveals He “Didn’t Pull The Trigger”!
Alec! It’s been over a month! Why didn’t you tell someone?
“Nobody asked.”
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Black Lives Matter Calls For A Month-Long Boycott Of All “White Companies”!
“We’re taking our flash-looting elsewhere,” a BLM spokesman confirmed.
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The Los Angeles Times Reports That A White Drama Professor At Coastal Carolina University Told A Group Of Student To Stop Getting “Their Feelings Hurt So Easily”!
“WAAAAAA!” the students replied.
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Having friends on Social Media is like having money in Monopoly.
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Things That Make Me Go Hmm:
Why are babies the only things that come out of a person’s body that nobody minds touching?
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THIS JUST IN:
Joe Biden Catches Cold!
Forces it to get the vaccine and wear a mask.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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