Who's Bazooka Joe?

There's an old joke. I think I read it first in Bazooka Joe.

A man answers the phone.

"You don't say!" he says. "You Don't Say!" YOU DON'T SAY!"

He hangs up the phone.

"Who was it?" his wife asks.

"He didn't say."

Later, I saw it on Benny Hill.

Anyway…

My father answered the phone. This was back when we still had landlines. He's not one to gab, but he talked so much I began to wonder who he was talking to.

"How ya doin'? I'm doing fine. How 'bout them Yankees? Blah, blah, blah…"

I scooted a little closer, trying to get a bead on who he was talking to. You never know, it could have been someone out to cheat him out of my inheritance.

Someone like my brother.

Five minutes must have passed, which is a marathon for my father. He's not much of a talker. At least, not on the phone. Neither am I, for that matter.

Now, five minutes might not seem like a long time, but try keeping your head underwater for that length of time and you'll see how long it actually is.

Finally, my father handed the receiver over to me.

"It's for you."

"Who is it?"

My father grumbled.

"How should I know?" he said.