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Fear The Fish

Fear The Fish As a faux member of the Advisory Committee reporting to the FDA, I felt it was my duty to inform them that, while genetically engineered salmon  appears  to be safe, more testing would be needed before I, in good conscience, could approve it. "When you're dealing with the public's safety it's better to err on the side of caution. Do the math," I insisted, "do the math." AquaBounty Technologies, Inc., the developer of the would-be country's first genetically engineered food animal, made it clear to me that they were "unpleased" with my stipulation, and offered to give me a personal tour of their facilities. When I hesitated, they also made it clear to me that I did not have a choice. I must admit, I was very impressed with what I saw when I got there. The whole farm looked very clean and state-of-the-art. "See that," my guide pointed to a randomly selected room. "We even have computers." "And who's ...
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Is YOUR House Haunted?

Is Your House Haunted? From the disembodied head floating in your living room to the one night stand who doesn't want to leave, these may all be signs that your house is haunted. I've never seen a more paranormal infestation than the time Rebecca G. called me to see what I could do about some random guy she made the drunken mistake of bringing home one Friday night. He spent the night, didn't leave all of Saturday, and slept on the couch when he discovered Ms. G. was only easy after throwing back a few  Jose Cuervos  on a dare. By Sunday, he was quite comfortable making his own breakfast, and she felt compelled to call me in a panic, quite rightly believing he would  never  vacate the premises. She was right. Guys such as him are supernatural leeches. Like a cat, they never leave once they've been fed. So I called a priest, not to conduct an exorcism, but to perform a marriage ceremony. That guy couldn't find the exit door fast enough. Who Am I? My name is Louis Cyp...
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Ozombie bin Laden

Ozombie bin Laden when hell is full the dead will walk the earth I have nightmares. It's been years, and I still have nightmares. It all began with a simple phone call. From the President. And when the President calls, I jump. It's the least I can do for the man who once saved my life in 'Nam. But this particular phone call caught me by surprise. "I want you to go to Pakistan," he told me, smoothly. "You're the only one I can trust to verify that Osama bin Laden is dead." "Of course he's dead," I answered. "We've both seen the video." I paused... and then we both broke up laughing at the same time. Video. What a joke. "And don't worry," he assured me. "Your little, ah, 'problem' in the Middle East has been smoothed over." That's Obama for you. Mr. Smooth. And that's how I found myself back in Pakistan, taking a freight elevator down to the basement where bin Laden's murdered body...
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Abbott & Costello Meet Six Word Horror Stories

Abbott & Costello Meet Six Word Horror Stories For Sale. Chainsaw. Only Used Once. ********** His insides… were on… his outsides. ********** Something dripped on her face… blood? *********** She lay motionless. I already knew... ********** "Heard you were dead."  "I am." *********** "..3, 4, better lock the door…" ********** You should have locked the door. ********** They're right in front of you. *********** Cupid's arrow had a poison tip. ********** The setting sun never rose again. *********** Turns out, it wasn't a nightmare. *********** James Corden's coming to your restaurant. ********** A Tremors-inspired Six Word Horror Story: Giant worms. Digging holes. Eating people. ********** Grinning, the clown closed the door. ********** "Howdy, stranger. We've been expecting you." ********** Eat it, before it eats YOU! ********** "Your account shows some unusual activity." ********** Woke up with my kidney missing...
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House Of Six Word Horror Stories

House of Six Word Horror Stories I want to marry your daughter. ********** "You're lost? Gee, that's too bad." ********** "This meat tastes funny. Where's grandma?" ********** The real monsters live next door. ********** I have my father's eyes. Delicious. ********** Grandpa was tough... and tasted awful. ********** Why do these dates have legs? ********** The zombies started with my eyes. ********** His head hurt... and then exploded. ********** And that man was Jeffrey Dahmer. ********** "I'm dead? Sweet Jesus!" "Guess again." ********** Special Russian Invasion Edition: "I just got my draft notice." ********** Finally, he could pass for human. ********** "Is that a gun?" BANG! "Yes." *********** "Why is the back door open?" *********** "But mommy SAID she'd be back!" *********** Jim Duchene Master Horrologist
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Son Of Six Word Horror Stories

Son of Six Word Horror Stories "I'm Ted Bundy. What's your name?" ********** Sex. Sex. Sex. Married. No sex. ********** "Honey, mother's moving in with us." ********** My mother-in-law's never leaving. ********** This is just plain good advice: Murder was definitely cheaper than divorce. *********** "Are your parents home? No? Good." ********** Sadly, Baby New Year was stillborn. ********** Trump wins 2028 by a LANDSLIDE! ********** Love was the end of happiness. *********** "Is that a gun he's carrying?" ********** Turns out, it WAS a gun. *********** "Look out! He's got a gun!" ********** Take my word for it… RUN! *********** Who knew runaways were so tasty? ********** The Secret Service reads your tweets. *********** Jim Duchene Master Horrologist
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The Bride of Six Word Horror Stories

The Bride of Six Word Horror Stories Bloodstains are so hard to hide. ********** "We should break up." "I'm pregnant." *********** The starving dogs began to feast.  ********** Holy crap... Donald Trump was RIGHT! ********** Is that a lump I feel? ********** The morgue's dead began to rise. ********** "Clown For Hire" —John Wayne Gacy ********** ...content censored by the Chinese government... ********** The leprechaun had such sharp teeth. ********** Santa descended the chimney… …in pieces. *********** For sale. Baby shoes. Don't ask. ********** The babysitter's red lips dripped blood. *********** Gas. Inflation. Willie Nelson. All high. ********** "Hi, I'm Pennywise. What's for dinner?" *********** "Don't worry, I'm a FRIENDLY clown." ********** Should've known werewolves couldn't be housebroken. *********** Jim Duchene Master Horrologist
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