Monday, March 19, 2018

The Week In News Tweets!

This Just In!
According to the Odessa American newspaper, an Odessa, Texas prostitution sting netted a
SIXTY-SEVEN-year-old prostitute!
Man, a business transaction like THAT should come with a coupon for a free bowl of soup.
 
This Just In!
Beyoncé's & JayZ's On The Run II Tour!
"We call it On The Run TWO because, as artists, we are bereft of original ideas," they admitted, laughing all the way to the bank.
 
This Just In!
China Moves To Let President Xi Jinping Rule INDEFINITELY!
"We're a communist dictatorship," the Chinese Legislature explained upon pain of death. "Why pretend otherwise?"
 
This Just In!
Syria and Afghanistan Ranked WORST Countries To Be A Woman! by the 2018 Women, Peace, and Security Index!
Iceland Ranked Best!
If they had any women, that is.
 
This Just In!
Syria and Afghanistan Ranked WORST Countries To Be A Woman! by the 2018 Women, Peace, and Security Index!
I guess the brave ladies of NOW will be going there to protest.
"Are you NUTS? We're protesting HERE where it's SAFE!"
 
 
American Chimpanzee
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