The Week In Tweets: Special Righteous Indignation Tweets!
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Hey, Alec Baldwin!
QUIT walking around in your boxer shorts!
Your ABC MatchGame guests and employees don't want to be exposed to any of that nonsense. And, you know what...
#MeToo!
James Bond is a pretentious PUTZ! I taste-tested two martinis—shaken vs stirred—and they BOTH tasted the SAME!
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Fake News.
“What does this have to do with President Trump?” they want to know
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Fake News.
“What does this have to do with President Trump?” they want to know
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from the fine ladies from N.O.W.
“It’s not like she was denied an abortion or anything,” explains a spokeswoman.
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from the fine ladies from N.O.W.
“It’s not like she was denied an abortion or anything,” explains a spokeswoman.
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Hollywood.
“We’re too busy pushing our Gay/Liberal agenda,” they#MeToo-ed.
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Hollywood.
“We’re too busy pushing our Gay/Liberal agenda,” they
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Democrats.
“We heard she was a Republican,” the DNC yawned.
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Democrats.
“We heard she was a Republican,” the DNC yawned.
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from ISIS.
“She deserved it,” they declared in the name of Allah. “She was seen reading a book.”
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from ISIS.
“She deserved it,” they declared in the name of Allah. “She was seen reading a book.”
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Liberals.
“People of color can do no wrong,” say these Progressives, “and, if you DARE to say otherwise, we’ll DESTROY you.”
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Liberals.
“People of color can do no wrong,” say these Progressives, “and, if you DARE to say otherwise, we’ll DESTROY you.”
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Eric Schneiderman.
“Sounds like my kind of place,” jokes the disgraced, woman hitting, ex-New York Attorney General.
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from Eric Schneiderman.
“Sounds like my kind of place,” jokes the disgraced, woman hitting, ex-New York Attorney General.
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from the men of India. The fathers, the husbands, the brothers.
“Violence toward women? That’s our culture, so you can’t judge us.”
And all of the civilized world backs down.
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from the men of India. The fathers, the husbands, the brothers.
“Violence toward women? That’s our culture, so you can’t judge us.”
And all of the civilized world backs down.
This Just In!
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from India’s government.
“What can we do?” laments one Indian politician. “We’re just your leaders.”
ANOTHER Teen Girl Raped, Set On Fire In India, Prompting Outrage!
But not from India’s government.
“What can we do?” laments one Indian politician. “We’re just your leaders.”
“In my mind, my focus is my music and, like, my happiness, ‘cause who knows when the sun’s gonna burn out?” says the pompous singer Kesha, she with the haunted vagina, to CBS Sunday Morning. Well, her focus sure isn’t on spelling and good grammar.
My favorite day of the week is Monday. After a weekend of working around the house, it’s nice to get back to my job and do nothing.
Things That Make Me Go Hmm: How come, in a movie, if you stab a woman in her chest with a knife Hollywood will rate it PG-13, but, if you touch her chest with your hand, it will be rated R?
This Just In! Duchess Kate & Prince William fulfilled their duty as royal parents by visiting Kensington Palace and formally registering the birth of their newborn son, Stinky Pete!
This Just In!
GUILTY!
“I guess the jury must like pudding, because they’re PUDDING my ass in jail!” groused the disgruntled comedian.
Tomorrow is a good day to stop procrastinating.
Black Panther!
Wakanda!
The Most Technologically Advanced Country IN THE WORLD!
“And we STILL choose our leaders the old fashion way... WITH VIOLENCE!”
California Oil Firms Had 38 Violations! Yet NO Civil Penalties Were Issued.
“Hey, look!” a spokesman commented. “There’s Trump!”
California Oil Firms Had 381 Violations! Yet NO Civil Penalties Were Issued!
“Once again, it’s not WHAT you know, or WHO you know, but who you PAY OFF,” a spokesman admitted.
Why would I follow ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live on Twitter?
If I want to follow Jimmy Kimmel, I’ll just turn on the TV.
Miley Cyrus’ naughty Easter pics OFFENDS billions, and has the Fake News media outlets speculating: “Was that President Trump in the Easter Bunny costume spanking the sexy singer?”
Miley Cyrus’ sexy Easter photos OUTRAGES world, and has Fake News media outlets wondering: “Did President Trump have anything to do with it?”
Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you’ll be carrying around a filthy penny that you picked up from the disgusting ground.
People don’t react, they overreact.
For every horseshoe a person uses for luck, there’s an unlucky horse missing a shoe.
This Just In!
Syria & Afghanistan Ranked WORST Countries To Be A Woman! by 2018 Woman, Peace, and Security Index.
I guess the brave ladies of N.O.W. will be going there to protest.
“Are you NUTS? We’re protesting HERE where it’s SAFE!”
I guess the brave ladies of N.O.W. will be going there to protest.
“Are you NUTS? We’re protesting HERE where it’s SAFE!”
This Just In!
Syria & Afghanistan Ranked WORST Countries To Be A Woman! by the 2018 Women, Peace, and Security Index.
Iceland Ranked Best.
If they had any women, that is.
This Just In!
China Moves To Let President Xi Jinping Rule INDEFINITELY!
“We’re a communist dictatorship,” the Chinese Legislature explained upon pain of death. “Why pretend otherwise?”
This Just In!
Beyoncé’s & JayZ’s “On The Run II” Tour!
“We call it On The Run TWO, because, as artists, we are bereft of original ideas,” they admitted, laughing all the way to the bank.
American Chimpanzee
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