Hammer Films Presents!
Zombie McCain!
"When there is no more room in Hell... John McCain will walk the earth!"
Just in time for Halloween!
Hammer Films Presents!
Dracula Vs The Monster!
Starring John McCain as the fey political bloodsucker and Ron Jeremy as the foul-smelling Dr. Crapenstein!
Fake News Reports!
John McCain Comes Back From The Dead!
MURDERS Dennis Hoff!
"My 'little soldier' hasn't saluted since Viet Nam," he admitted to Ron Jeremy. "If I'M not getting any, NOBODY'S getting any!"
Fake News Reports!
John McCain GOBBLES Ron Jeremy's Goblin!
Swears him to secrecy!
"Wouldn't you rather have one of the Bunny Ranch's prostitutes?" the geriatric porn star offers.
"Gimme dat goblin!" McCain insists.
Fake News Reports!
Zombie John McCain EATS The Newly Dead Dennis Hoff!
"I'm having a ball," he says.
"That's because you're eating too fast," Ron Jeremy points out.
Fake News Reports!
In The Vile John McCain's Most Evil Act Yet...
Johnny "Wet-Start" Leaves The Bunny Ranch WITHOUT PAYING!
Fake News Reports!
John McCain CONFESSES To Evil Plan Of Bringing The Dead Back To Life!
"By 'the dead,' I'm talking about my penis."
Fake News Reports!
Back From The Dead, John McCain Spotted Drinking The Blood Of Republican Babies!
People are afraid of clowns, but what are clowns afraid of?
John McCain!
Is there something hiding in your closet?
Of course there is...
John McCain!
You know that feeling you get that someone is watching you?
That someone is John McCain!
John McCain has a good head on his shoulders...
...and another one in his refrigerator.
John McCain!
That last scream you hear will be your own!
John McCain!
If you don't wake up screaming, you won't wake up at all!
John McCain!
Back From The DEAD...
...with a few days TO KILL!
If John McCain doesn't scare you...
...you're already dead.
It's not fear that tears you apart...
...it's John McCain!
American Chimpanzee
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