The Week In Tweets: Special Getting Back Up Edition!

 Fake News Reports!

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It’s not the bending over, it’s the getting back up.

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I’m too young to be so old.

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My ex-wife likes to go without a bra.

   It pulls the wrinkles out of her face.

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BREAKING NEWS:

Pete Davidson LEAVING Saturday Night Live!

…and he was never heard from again.

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THIS JUST IN:

Pete Davidson Is LEAVING Saturday Night Live!

“Pete who?”

Exactly.

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Two things can be bad at the same time.

One thing being bad doesn’t absolve the other.

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Life begins at the first cocktail.

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Like a rubber band, karma only stretches so far before it snaps back and stings you in the face.

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Why is it that people who purposely offend always begin or end with “No offense”?

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Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent

read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

desertexposure.com

@JimDuchene