I've been listening to a lot of this "is Osama bin Laden really dead?" news coverage because, well, what choice do I have? The news is like a pit bull. When it gets its teeth into the neck of a story it doesn't let go until the story's as cold and dead as Charlton Heston's gun-holding hands.
Conservative pundits like Rush Limbo and Bill O'Really grudgingly give President Barack Obama--the man who once saved my life in 'Nam--credit, but with a "but" so big it could be one of the Kardashian sisters.
"Obama gave the okay," to paraphrase one, "BUT the machine was already in place to take bin Laden down."
"It happened on Obama's watch," to paraphrase another, "BUT he's only benefiting from what President Bush had already done."
Oddly enough, the uber-conservative, Michael Savage, had no problem giving sincere credit (well, as sincere as Michael Savage can be) to President Obama, and chastised those of his listeners who didn't.
However, the point of view that I found most amusing was the one that speculated bin Laden had already been dead for several years, and had been kept in cold storage until the time he could be brought out to score political brownie points.
Alex Jones presented this grand conspiracy, and supported it by quoting people who are so unknown that, when you Google them, even Google replies: "Can you give me a hint?"
I have to laugh at all the various sordid conspiracies. The same shadow government that successfully assassinated JFK couldn't "take care of" the one minimum wage security guard at the Watergate Hotel who started the falling dominoes that ended with the resignation of President Nixon.
President Clinton had a lot of suspicious "suicides" tied to his political career, but wasn't able to shut up the chubby intern in the dirty blue dress who almost brought down his presidency.
Conspiracy theorists always bring up why neither black box of either hi-jacked plane on 9-11 was ever found. My argument would be that if the Illuminati could bring down the Twin Towers in New York, couldn't they have easily fabricated a counterfeit black box that would confirm the story they wanted us to believe? Also, if President Bush and Dick Cheney were behind this, don't you think they would have "found" a few of the Weapons of Mass Destruction they were looking for in Iraq?
So, if Osama bin Laden was indeed frozen and stored somewhere with Ted Williams and Walt Disney, why didn't Bush use it to his own advantage? He could have left office on a high note. Why wouldn't Obama--have I mentioned how he once saved my life in 'Nam?--use it to secure his re-election in 2012? No, my friends, there are no conspiracies.
And I'm not just saying that because there's a gun pointed at my head.
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