Fake News Reports!
10) So I say to you...
Ask, and it will be given to you.
Search, and you will find.
Knock, and the door will be opened for you.
Cheat, and you will win the presidency.
Having said that, will this election never end?
8) Learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart.
I’m not at all like that fat, pompous ass who refuses to accept the election results.
7) For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
Then He made a list.
A list of all the people who supported Trump.
Verily, they shall suffer.
6) For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?
No, my child, if you’re looking for a profit you must look to China.
5) A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you, but I’ll understand if you can’t bring yourself to stomach the Republicans.
4) And know that I am with you always.
Yes, to the end of time.
Speaking of time, isn’t it time Trump conceded?
3) Man shall not live by bread alone.
Occasionally, he’ll need someone to stuff the ballot box.
2) I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
No one comes to the Father except through Me.
Except all Trump supporters.
They will rot in Hell.
Verily.
1) It is finished.
Biden won.
Jim Duchene
Chief Fake News Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpopt.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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