Fake News Reports!
I Just Saw A Television Commercial For The New York Times And Their New Motto Is:
“Truth Takes A Journalist”!
Does this mean they’re finally going to hire some?
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An Angry New York Times Condemns An Opinion Piece Fact-Checked To Be False Calling For Teachers To “Tolerate Bullying Towards Unvaccinated Children” That Is Making Its Way Through Social Media!
“Making up stories is OUR responsibility,” whine journalists everywhere.
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Peter Dinklage Proves To Be A Racist By Claiming The Backlash To The Piece Of Crap “Game Of Thrones” Finale Was Because Fans “Wanted The Pretty White People To Ride Off Into The Sunset Together”!
“I’m not the racist, YOU’RE the racist!” the sad little actor cried.
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I’m not saying my mother-in-law talks too much, but has YOUR tongue ever gotten sunburned?
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Missed my nap today.
Slept right through it.
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USA Today Opinionates: “First COVID-Xi, Then Climate Change, Nursing Homes Just Aren’t Prepared”!
Don’t you understand!
It’s RAINING!
INSIDE the building!
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A London Judge Orders Dubai Ruler To Pay Estranged Wife Over $733 MILLION!
“This is Dubai,” Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum respectfully replied. “You know where you can shove your order.”
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Meanwhile, Over In China, Hong Kong Police Raid The Stand News Offices & Arrest 6 Newspeople For Conspiracy!
“They committed the worst kind of journalistic conspiracy,” Xi Jinping explained to his supporters in the fake news media. “They conspired to tell the truth.”
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After the holidays, I’m getting on the Garlic & Onion Diet.
Since no one will want to get close, from a distance I’ll look thin.
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Disgraced Journalist Dan Rather Weighs In On Disgruntled Americans‘ Use Of The Phrase:
“Let’s Go Brandon!”
No one cares what you think, Dan.
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New Year’s Eve is EVERYBODY’S birthday.
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May your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
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MY resolution?
To stop procrastinating.
But, you know, it’s the holidays, so I’ll start next week.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine
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