Wednesday, December 15, 2021

The Week In Tweets: Special Covid-Xi Edition!

 Fake News Reports!


THIS JUST IN:
Brian Williams QUITS Television!
America is “unrecognizable” in 2021, he laments.
Well, Brian, do you think maybe YOU were part of the problem?
“This isn’t about ME,” the man who says he invented blood answered.
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The San Francisco Chronicle Reports That Kamala Harris Warns “Women will die!” If The Supreme Court Overturns Roe Vs Wade!
“Better that we kill babies in the womb than to risk losing women who couldn’t be bothered to use birth control.”
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In An Interview With The San Francisco Chronicle, Kamala Harris Has Definite Thoughts If The Supreme Court Should Overturn Roe Vs Wade!
“Better that we kill babies in the womb than to inconvenience our menfolk.”
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In An Interview With The San Francisco Chronicle, Kamala Harris Asks The Hard Questions Should The Supreme Court Overturn Roe Vs Wade!
“Can you imagine the child support men would have to pay if they did that?”
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After 18 Years, Chris Wallace Announces He Is Leaving Fox To Join CNN As An Anchor!
“I got tired of being forced to report the truth,” he explains.
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Chris Wallace LEAVES Fox News After 18 Years And Joins CNN As An Anchor!
“I can’t wait to sexually harass someone,” he admits.
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The Devastating Tornadoes That Tore Through Several States Demolished An Amazon Warehouse, Killing & Injuring Employees!
“Funny thing is,” one victim said as she was being pulled from the wreckage, “we couldn’t tell the difference from normal working conditions.”
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New York Store Owner Whose Store Was Robbed In Broad Daylight Complains About The Politicians Who Coddle Those Criminals!
Is he gonna vote them back into office the next chance he gets?
“You bet I am!”
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The Lost Angeles Times Tells Us That The James Webb Space Telescope Could Reveal The Origin Of The Universe!
Oh… so the telescope will have the ability to time travel?
"Now you're just being silly," says the Times.
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The Albuquerque Journal Reports That The Omicron Variant Of Covid-Xi Has Been Confirmed In New Mexico!
You know, “Once this is over” is starting to sound an awful lot like “When I win the lotto.”
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
 
read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at Desert Exposure Magazine

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