Friday, April 8, 2022

The Week In Tweets: Special People We're Afraid Of Edition!

 Fake News Reports!

  

Two Months Into Putin’s Invasion, Russia STILL Can’t Conquer Ukraine!

Let me get this straight, THESE are the people we’re afraid of?

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Peace Talks With Russia Scheduled To Begin Today!

In a related story, Ukrainian peace negotiators allegedly POISONED.

“Oops,” says Putin.

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Under House Arrest, Immanuel Segura Arrested For Selling Guns & Drugs Out Of His Brother’s Albuquerque Apartment!

“Was that wrong?” the young entrepreneur asked the arresting officer. “Because I wouldn’t have done it if someone had told me it was wrong.”

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   When not spending 100% of his time thinking about the homeless, California Governor Gavin Newsom brags about studying books that were banned in other states instead of solving his own state’s problems

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Humans have evolved into a higher form of intelligence and a lower form of intelligence at the same time. Don’t know which one you are?

Well, that answers the question right there.

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Once Upon A Time In The Ukraine

 

   “Look at that. Hard to believe one man can do so much damage to a country.”

“I hate to tell you, Mr. President, but we’re back in the United States.”

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Russia’s 2-Day Takeover Of Ukraine Now In Its SECOND Month!

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UN Climate Panel Says Greenhouse Gas Emissions MUST Decline By 2025 To Avoid Missing Targets Set Forth In The Paris Agreement!

“Why’s everybody looking at us?” wonders the United States as it’s handed the bill.

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Central New Mexico Correctional Facility’s Minimum-Security Unit LOSES A Prisoner!

Have you looked under the refrigerator?

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The Albuquerque Journal Reports That Santa Fe Has Become Less Affordable In 2022!

Yeah, as if Santa Fe was affordable to begin with.

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In An Interview With Nikole Hannah-Jones, CNN’s Chris Wallace Insists The Greatest Generation Couldn’t Be Racists Who Suppress Black Votes!

“After all,” he said, pressing his point, “didn’t they fight World War II, the war to free the slaves?”

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Meghan Markle—Spouse To The Royal Formally Known As Prince Harry—Releases To The Press A Touching Letter Where She Privately Expresses “Heartbreak” Concerning The Recent Death Of Oli Juste, A Dear, Dear Friend! “ME! ME! ME!” it says. “It’s all about ME!”

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THIS JUST IN:

Nancy Pelosi Catches Covid-Xi! “Bleach!” she screeches to her unpaid underlings. “Get me bleach!”

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Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent


read my RaisingDad humor column for caregivers at

Desert Exposure Magazine

desertexposure.com

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