Monday, February 25, 2013

D'Oscars Unshamed!

Well, stand aside Nostradamus.
     Once again I was 99% correct in my annual prediction of who would take home an Academy Award. Even I, your humble Hollywood correspondent, took home an Oscar, but that was only because one particular winner got too drunk to noticed me stealing it.
     The only category I got wrong was for Best Actor. I was positive that Daniel Day-Lewis would go home a bridesmaid, not a bride, for his portrayal of President Abraham Lincoln. While others praised his performance, I found it to be just that: a performance. The animatronic Lincoln at Disneyland is more natural and lifelike. My money was on Clint Eastwood for his portrayal of an aging (insert occupation here).
     I was saddened that the cast of the movie Frankenweenie decided to boycott the ceremony, but I find their Pro-Life stand to be both brave and courageous. Wait, that's the same thing, isn't it? Nevermind.
     Everybody was shocked when they finally realized Ben Affleck hadn't even been nominated for Best Director, but my own personal theory for this glaring snub is that nobody recognized him with that beard of his (and I'm not talking about his wife), so therefore didn't know to vote for him. When he finally had his chance at the podium, after his film Argo won Best Picture, it was brave of him to air out his marital problems to the billions of people watching around the world.
     One of the more memorable moments was also a controversial one. I, for one, was greatly impressed and entertained by Barack Obama's, his lovely wife Michele's, and Vice-President Biden's Django Unchained skit. Political pundits like Rush Limbo and Bill O'Really bloviated endlessly that such shenanigans belittle the two highest offices in the land, that of First Lady and her husband. As for Joe, it's almost impossible for him to embarrass himself any further than he already has.
     So, my thanks to you, my loyal readers. Without your input for me to ignore, I would have never been able to make such a big killing in Vegas on Oscar night.

American Chimpanzee

No comments:

Post a Comment