Thursday, September 5, 2019

The Week In Tweets: Special Isn't-That-Wrong? Edition!

Fake News Reports!
  
Beto O'Rourke Throws Out Breitbart Reporter Joel Pollak From His Benedict College Speech!
Isn't that wrong?
"It's only wrong when we can accuse President Trump of it," the presidential wannabe explained as he cowered behind campus security's skirt.
  
Beto O'Rourke Ejects Breitbart Reporter From His Benedict College Speech!
Hey, Bobby... if you can't stand up to Joel Pollak, how are you going to stand up to Xi Jinping or Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong-Un? ISIS or the Taliban?
"Someone throw this guy out!"
  
Racially Insensitive Rihanna Culturally Appropriates The Asian Race On The September Cover Of Hong Kong's Vogue Magazine!
"Did you hear about the Chinese look-a-like contest?" she asked anybody who would listen.
  
Illinois Congressman John Shimkus Has Announced He WILL NOT Seek Re-Election In 2020!
"Why bother? Thanks to you rubes, politicians are set for LIFE," he said, laughing all the way to the bank.
  
In Houston, Some Popeyes Employees Were Held At Gunpoint When They Ran Out Of Chicken Sandwiches!
"Okay," responds Chick-fil-A. "You win."
  
Some Popeyes Employees In Houston Were Held At Gunpoint For Running Out Of Chicken Sandwiches!
"Okay, you keep YOUR customers, we'll keep ours," said Chick-fil-A.
  
A Disappointed Customer In Houston Held Some Popeyes Employees At Gunpoint When They Ran Out Of Chicken Sandwiches!
Just how good are these sandwiches anyway?
  
Walmart Will No Longer Sell Ammunition And Asks Customers Not To Bring Guns Into Their Stores!
"For the safety of our customers," a spokesman explained, "we want to make sure no one can defend themselves."
  
Climate Change Ambassador Prince Harry Defends His Using A Private Jet To Go On Holiday!
"When I'm talking about personal sacrifice," the global warming hypocrite explained, "I'm talking about you, not me."
  
Kristen Stewart Says She Was Warned Her Sexual Orientation Could Keep Her From Working For Marvel!
Who warned you?
"DC."
  
  
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JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
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@JimDuchene
  

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