Fake News Reports!
Ole Miss Basketball Fans Went Nuts Over 86-Year-Old Mary Ann Wakefield Making A 94-Foot Putt And Winning A Brand-New Car!
"Everybody is extremely happy for her," a spokesman said, "except for all the drivers who will be having to share the road with her."
The only thing worse than not being taken seriously is being taken seriously.
The Los Angeles Times Asks: "What Is It About Bernie Sanders That Young Voters Love?"
The young voters answer: "FREE STUFF!"
Obama Is Calling On TV Stations To STOP Airing An Ad That Uses Audio Of The Former President That Sounds Like He's Denouncing Joe Biden For Selling Out Black People!
"How DARE they use something that really happened to point out something that really exists," he said, as he deftly ignores his former vice-president's calls.
ABC Suspends The Peabody & Emmy Winning Reporter David Wright For Publicly Revealing His Personal Political Views!
"Let this be a lesson to ALL journalists whose beliefs don't march in time with OURS," an ABC spokesman said, raising the tip of his reversed pinkie to the diabolical corner of his chuckling lips.
They say diet & exercise is GOOD for you.
Who is "they," and why don't they mind their own business?
ALWAYS GIVE 110%!
...except when donating blood.
You know what I like about the new Starbucks at the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah?
The short lines.
Torontonians Lined Up To Wait Outside Of The LCBO Last Saturday Morning For The Canadian Launch Of White Claw!
"Yeah, we're just a bunch of cold drunks up here," the huddling masses yearning to be soused agreed.
It's not my best effort, it's not my worst.
It's my Just Enough To Get By effort.
The only thing worse than not being taken seriously is being taken seriously.
The Los Angeles Times Asks: "What Is It About Bernie Sanders That Young Voters Love?"
The young voters answer: "FREE STUFF!"
Obama Is Calling On TV Stations To STOP Airing An Ad That Uses Audio Of The Former President That Sounds Like He's Denouncing Joe Biden For Selling Out Black People!
"How DARE they use something that really happened to point out something that really exists," he said, as he deftly ignores his former vice-president's calls.
ABC Suspends The Peabody & Emmy Winning Reporter David Wright For Publicly Revealing His Personal Political Views!
"Let this be a lesson to ALL journalists whose beliefs don't march in time with OURS," an ABC spokesman said, raising the tip of his reversed pinkie to the diabolical corner of his chuckling lips.
They say diet & exercise is GOOD for you.
Who is "they," and why don't they mind their own business?
ALWAYS GIVE 110%!
...except when donating blood.
You know what I like about the new Starbucks at the Mormon Temple in Salt Lake City, Utah?
The short lines.
Torontonians Lined Up To Wait Outside Of The LCBO Last Saturday Morning For The Canadian Launch Of White Claw!
"Yeah, we're just a bunch of cold drunks up here," the huddling masses yearning to be soused agreed.
It's not my best effort, it's not my worst.
It's my Just Enough To Get By effort.
Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
JiumDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
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