Friday, March 20, 2020

The Week In Tweets: Special Nucking Futs Edition!

Fake News Reports!
  
  Founder Bill Gates Is Stepping Down From Microsoft's Board Of Directors!
"It's this Coronavirus thing," he explains. "It's got me nucking futs."
  
Jack Ma, A Billionaire In Communist China, Is Donating A MILLION Masks To The United States!
"We have to get rid of our used ones some way," he said, explaining his generosity.
  
Visits always give pleasure.
If not the arrival, then the departure.
  
When my buddy told his wife the restaurants were closing, she be like, "You mean I gotta COOK?"
  
Six Word Horror Story:
The leprechaun had such sharp teeth.
  
Six Word Horror Story:
Celebrated St. Patrick's Day at home.
  
Chuck Norris Facts
Special Coronavirus Edition:
Chuck Norris does not need to self-quarantine.
There is no one in the world brave enough to get near him.
  
Chuck Norris Facts
Special Coronavirus Edition:
Chuck Norris does not need to social distance himself.
There is no one foolish enough to get within six feet of him.
  
Tom Brady And The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Have Made It OFFICIAL!
"Screw you, Coronavirus losers," he gushed happily. "I got MY 40 million."
  
A peacock in love with its own feathers is a turkey.
  
Jim Duchene

Fake News Chief Correspondent
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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