Fake News Reports!
My parents were always proud of me.
And I could never figure out why.
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When we were married my ex-wife wanted to have children.
“What you do in your free time is fine by me,” I told her.
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My parents told me I don’t call them often enough.
“But I visit you every day,” I answered.
Turns out, they’d prefer a phone call.
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Tom Brady Visits Joe Biden At The White House!
“It takes a special man,” the president told press, “to marry a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold like their mother. The youngest one in curls.”
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THIS JUST IN:
Japan CANCELS The Olympics!
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THIS JUST IN:
Joe Biden FIRES Dr. Fauci!
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Senator Rand Paul In ANOTHER Massive Blowout With Dr. Anthony Fauci, Who Was Testifying Before Congress!
“Can’t I speak with someone from CNN?” pleaded the trembling Dr. Fauci
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Albuquerque, NM Was Nearly Scammed Out Of 1.9 MILLION Dollars!
Fortunately, a bank flagged the transfer of funds okayed by city staff.
“You mean, there ISN’T a Nigerian prince?” Mayor Tim Keller demanded to know.
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With His People Starving And Famine Ravaging His Country, North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un Sails On His Luxury Yacht To His Mansion In Wonsan Bay…
…WITH DONALD TRUMP!
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48 Churches In Canada Have Been Vandalized Or Set On Fire In The Last Two Months!
“I need the ash for my blackface,” a grinning Prime Minister Trudeau explained calmly.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
@JimDuchene
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