Fake News Reports!
I don’t worry about wrinkles.
They cover my age spots.
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KRQE-TV’s Larry Barker, Known For His Confrontational Style, Apologizes To The New Mexican Governor’s Press Secretary For His Rude Behavior!
“I’m sorry,” he said, feigning regret. “For a minute there, I thought you were Trump.”
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The Santa Fe County Ranch Owned By The Very Dead Sex Offender Jeffrey Epstein Is Now On Sale For $27.5 Million!
“It would have listed for more,” a spokesman said, “but we couldn’t get rid of the smell.”
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My wife is right, I AM unsociable.
I didn’t realize it until she pointed out to me that when this pandemic happened my life didn’t change at all.
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SILVER ALERT!
Please be on the lookout for Joe Biden, who left Washington this morning to meet with Mayor Lori Lightfoot in Chicago but ended up FIFTY miles away in Crystal Lake.
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When I heard they were meeting at Crystal Lake, I thought it was to film a sequel to Friday The 13th.
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THIS JUST IN:
Japan RUINS The Olympics!
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I’ve stared into the face of death many times.
But enough about my ex-wife.
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Robin DiAngelo, The Author Of “White Frigidity,” Her New Book—A Socialist Diatribe On Racism—FLOPS!
“Shouldn’t she be giving her books away for free?” her target demographic wonders out loud.
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In A Country Of 350 Million, Robin DiAngelo's Newest Woke Opus On Racism BOMBS, Only Moving An Anemic 3500 Books!
“I stole MY copy,” her target demographic said, striking a blow for equity and reparations.
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Nature abhors a vacuum.
And it doesn’t think much of you, either.
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
@JimDuchene
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