Fake News Reports!
Nancy Pelosi Rejects Republicans Jim Banks & Jim Jordan Serving On The January 6th Select Committee
“What do you think this is? A fair hearing?”
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THIS JUST IN:
China Just Scored The First Gold Medal Of The Summer Olympics In Tokyo!
I’m happy for the athlete.
As a reward, her family gets a ten minute break at the Nike factory.
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I’m not saying my ex has let herself go, but the last time she stepped out she got a Cease & Desist from Google Earth.
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“Second place at the Olympics gets you the silver.
Second place in politics gets you the presidency.”
—President Trump
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Olympic Swimmer Araiarne Titmus Beats Katie Ledecky In The 400-Meter Freestyle, Winning Australia A Gold Medal!
Her coach, Dean Boxall, was so excited he had it bronzed.
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The Olympics inspires some people to get out there and get active.
All it inspires in me is to sit on the couch and watch TV.
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I was excited when I got my tickets to see the 2020 Olympic women’s beach volleyball final in Japan!
Just my luck, it was for Iran versus Saudi Arabia.
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The last time I was at the Olympics was 2008 in Beijing, China.
ALL the colors were represented.
Unfortunately, I’m talking about the drinking water.
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I’m not saying my first marriage was a loveless one, but the swimming pool lifeguards at the 2020 Olympics are seeing more action.
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The food here at the Olympic Village is fit for a king.
STEPHEN King!
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Jim Duchene
Fake News Chief Correspondent
American Chimpanzee
@JimDuchene
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