Friday, August 5, 2011

What's In A Name?

I can't say I understand Muslim extremists who threaten death to all who disrespect their holy prophet Mohammed, but I do understand their objection to that disrespect.  That's why I can't comprehend why so many Muslims are named Mohammed.  Wouldn't naming an unworthy human Mohammed be the most supreme of insults to their most revered prophet? 
     To be honest, I don't care for anybody naming their child after any particular deity.  I find that incredibly offensive.  Not to mention a burden.  When you name your child Jesus, for example, you've doomed him to failure.  No matter his accomplishments, he'll always be a far second to his namesake.
     Myself, I've given each of my children the first name of "Doctor".  That way they can set up a medical practice without the costly inconvenience of actually going to medical school.  They all specialize in "referrals".  For example, when a patient comes in with a medical problem they will just refer them to an actual physician who specializes in that particular condition.
     A patient may come in and tell my son:  "Doctor, my throat hurts."  My son will then shine a light down their gullet and take a look.  Then he'll poke and prod them a bit, order an RN to take a culture, and maybe take some blood or urine or both for good measure.  Anything to pile on the charges.  In the meantime, he'll tell the patient:  "I want you to go see Dr. Bombay.  He's the best in the business."
     If Dr. Bombay cures my son's patient, it's my child who gets all the glory.  Besides the satisfaction of helping another human being, my child also benefits by being paid twice.  Once by the patient in the initial visit, and again in the form of a kickback from the real doctor.  However, if Dr. Bombay doesn't cure the patient, the patient will blame Dr. Bombay, and come back to my son for another referral and another office charge.
     Of course, if a patient comes in with an emergency, then my son will immediately send them to the hospital ER just down the street.  Once again, if the hospital saves their life, my child is a hero.  If not, then my child simply voids the bill for their office visit.  This makes him seem caring and compassionate, thus avoiding any potential lawsuits.  It also makes for a nice, fat deduction on his income tax.
     But I digress from my main point, which was:  I find it surprising that Al-Qaeda and radical Islam don't have a fatwa placed upon Muslims named Mohammad, or upon the parents who had the audacity to so name their children.
     How can they tolerate such an insult to their holy prophet?
Fifty Shades of Funny

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