Saturday, August 25, 2012

What's In A Name?

I can't say I understand Muslim extremists who threaten death to all who disrespect their holy prophet Mohammad, but I do understand their objection to that disrespect.
     That's why I can't comprehend why so many Muslims are named Mohammad.  Wouldn't naming an unworthy human Mohammad be the most supreme of insults to said prophet?
     To be honest, I don't care for anybody naming their child after any particular deity.  I find that incredibly offensive.  Not to mention a burden.  When you name your son Jesus, for example, you've doomed him to failure.  No matter his accomplishments, he'll always be a far second to his namesake.
     Myself, I've given each of my children the first name of "Doctor."  That way they can set up a medical practice without the costly inconvenience of actually going to medical school.  They all specialize in "referrals."  For example, when a patient comes in with a medical problem, they will refer them to an actual physician who specializes in that particular condition.
     A patient may come in and tell my son:  "Doctor, my throat hurts."  My son will then shine a light down their gullet and take a look.  Then he'll order his RN to take a culture, poke and prod them a bit, and maybe take some blood or urine for good measure.
     Anything to pile on the charges.
     In the meantime, my son will tell the patient:  "I want you to go see Dr. Bombay.  He's the best in the business." 
     If Doctor Bombay cures my son's patient, it's my son who gets all the glory.  Besides the satisfaction of helping another human being, my child also benefits by being paid twice.  Once by the patient in the initial visit, and again in the form of a medical kickback from the real doctor. 
     However, if Doctor Bombay doesn't cure the patient, the patient will blame Doctor Bombay and come right back to my son for another referral and another office charge.
     Of course, if a patient comes in with an emergency then my son will immediately send them to the hospital ER just down the street, sometimes even driving them there himself...  for an extra fee, of course. 
     Once again, if the hospital saves their life, my child is the hero.  If not, then my child simply voids their bill.  This makes him seem caring and compassionate, thus avoiding any potential lawsuits.
     It also makes for a nice, fat deduction on his income taxes.
     But I digress from my main point, which was:  I find it surprising that Al-Qaeda, the Muslim Brotherhood, or radical Islam don't have a fatwa placed upon Muslims named Mohammad, or upon the parents who had the audacity to name their children Mohammad.
     How can they tolerate such an insult to their holy prophet?
Fifty Shades of Funny

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