Monday, March 4, 2013

My El Paso (Part Two)

My El Paso.
     I think those are three very powerful and personal words are a great start in getting the citizens of El Paso to define their own city.
     I must admit that when I read that phrase I felt it sounded a bit too standoffish and exclusionary. Kind of like when a two year old says: "MY blankie!" "MY dollie!" MY El Paso. But now, now I see the genius of it. Reverse psychology. What a concept!
     The best way to make something valuable is to make it rare. A rock that you pick up from the ground has no value, but shine it up, call it a diamond, price it outrageously, and, all of a sudden you've created a demand for it. This demand usually comes from individuals who are as dumb as said rocks, but, fortunately, there are plenty of those kind of individuals around. They are as plentiful as, well, rocks on the ground.
     To make someone want something all you have to do is tell them that they can't have it. For example, the person you want the most is the one you can't have. There's an old country lyric that goes (and I'm going by memory here):

The only thing that she ever wanted
were the things that she could not have.

     Man, that reminds me of four of my five ex-wives. What it also reminds me of is that that's what human nature is all about. And that s the genius of the "My El Paso" advertising slogan for our city. With it, we're creating a desire to visit this city by telling outsiders that they are neither wanted nor welcome.
     I offer the following "My El Paso" suggestions to make El Paso a destination desired by all those who used to ignore us.

MY El Paso! Get Out And STAY Out!

MY El Paso! Trespassers Will Be Shot!

MY El Paso! We Don't Need YOU Or Your Stinkin' Money!

MY El Paso! You Don't Hafta Go Home, But You Can't Stay Here!
MY El Paso! Move Along... There's Nothing More To See!

MY El Paso! Peligro! Entrada Prohibida!

MY El Paso! This Property Is Condemned!
MY El Paso! Don't Let The Door Hit'cha Where The Good Lord Split'cha!

MY El Paso! That's Right, Amigo... Just Keep On Driving!

MY El Paso! You May NEVER Be Heard From Again!

MY El Paso! If We Don't Get You, The Drug Lords Will!

MY El Paso! It's Not You, It's Me!

MY El Paso! This Ain't Dodge, But Get The !@#% Out Anyway!

MY El Paso! Looking For City Hall? Good Luck With That!

     So, my fellow El Pasoans, let's all do our part bringing people to this city by keeping them out.
     I think I'll start with my ex-wives.

American Chimpanzee

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