Thursday, March 9, 2017

Dear John: Special Dead Cat Edition

Hard Core Advice From
Hard Core's Hardest Core... John Leslie!
Dear John,
     My coworkers seem really cranky lately. Is it them, or am I just more thin-skinned?
Dear Curious,
I've seen your picture on Facebook. One thing you're not is thin-skinned.
Dear John,
     There are days when I just can't seem to focus. I'm 49 and my period has been wacky, so could it be PMS?
     --Also Curious
Dear Also,
I don't want to hear about your periods.
Dear John,
     I always wear makeup to the gym so I look presentable, but someone told me I'm ruining my skin that way. Tell me I don't have to show up barefaced.
     --Curious Too
Dear Too,
What difference does it make? You're ugly either way.
Dear John,
     My sister-in-law can drink coffee after dinner and sleep like a log. Why doesn't the caffeine keep her up like it does normal people?
     --Curious As Well
Dear As Well,
Who cares?
Dear John,
     Do men really cheat on their spouses more than women do, or do they just get caught more often?
     --I Am Curious Yellow
Dear Yellow
Men don't cheat. That's just an unfortunate myth.
Confidential to Curiouser & Curiouser:
In my experience, the surest way to paralyze a woman from the waist down is to marry her.

American Chimpanzee

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