Monday, March 27, 2017

Dear John: Special Grass-Fed Edition!

Hard Core Advice From
Hard Core's Hardest Core... John Leslie!
Dear John,
     What's up with grass-fed beef? It's SO expensive. Can it really make a difference to my health?
     --Organic Wannabe
Dear Wannabe,
Don't worry about it. I spoke with your doctor. You have two weeks to live.
Dear John,
     The other day, I started sobbing when my boss criticized me, something I've never done before, but my mother has been sick and I've only been getting three hours of sleep a night.
     How do I do damage control?
Dear Crybaby,
I never met a boss who couldn't be swayed by a gratuitous offering of meaningless sex.
Dear John,
     My doctor interrupts me when I'm trying to describe my symptoms. Why doesn't he pay attention to me?
Dear Ignored,
Confidential to Oldtimer,
Sorry to disappoint you, grandpa, but they pass out Viagra at retirement homes to keep the old men from rolling out of bed.
American Chimpanzee

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