Monday, March 20, 2017

Dear John: Special Fat-Free Edition!

Hard Core Advice From
Hard Core's Hardest Core... John Leslie!
Dear John,
     Sometimes I wake up from a sound sleep feeling as though I'm having an orgasm. Am I just imagining this?
     --Not Complaining
Dear Complaining,
It depends where your husband's head happens to be at the time.
Dear John,
     I'm hosting a New Year's Eve party and want to invite a male friend who is newly sober. Is this insensitive of me?
     --Hostess With The Mostess
Dear Mostess,
You're only insensitive if that person is a transsexual Muslim of color in this country illegally
Dear John,
     My parents are leaving more money in their will to my sister because she's had major financial struggles. Am I wrong to feel hurt by this?
     --I Feel Like I'm Number Two
Dear #2,
Your parents can't help loving your sister more.

Confidential to Confused:
The difference between oral and anal sex is that one makes your whole day and the other makes your hole hurt.
American Chimpanzee

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