Sunday, July 16, 2017

21 Things An Elderly Man Can Do With His Abnormally Long Penis

10) Be the Double Dutch equipment manager.
9) Earn extra cash working part-time for the police department roping off crime scenes.
8) Sail with Jacque Cousteau to check ocean water depths.
7) Charge hikers who want to rappel down a cliff.
6) Teach a cowboy rope tricks.
5) Help Lassie save little Timmy from the well.
4) Fake garden snake to scare away scavenging birds.
3) Become Wonder Woman's favorite magic lasso.
2) Help Indiana Jones escape a giant rolling boulder.
1) In a pinch, The Flying Wallendas can secure it across two buildings and use it in their high-wire act.
0) On any 9-11 anniversary, it can stand-in for either of the ones.
-1) Arresting wire for a jet landing on an Aircraft Carrier.
-2) What do you think Tarzan uses to swing from tree to tree?
-3) Satisfy a dozen porno actresses. At the same time.
-4) Whip his sad, sorry-excuse of a son-in-law into submission.
-5) Without a way to swing from skyscraper to skyscraper, Spider-Man would just be a bug.
-6) Get into the Guinness Book of World Records by submitting it for consideration as the world's longest guitar string.
-7) Tie it from one tree to the next and use it as a family hammock at picnics.
-8) Throw it over a high tree branch and use it to hang food supply out of reach of wild bears when camping.
-9) Designated last man on Rope Team when a Safety Rope is needed to tether mountain climbers together.
-10) Have more sex than YOU!

American Chimpanzee

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