Monday, August 21, 2017

The Week In Solar Eclipse Tweets

Eclipse Superstitions:
Hell will close its brimstone gates and the dead will walk the Earth.
My ex will fit right in.
Eclipse Superstitions:
Satan will return to claim the souls promised him in exchange for fame and fortune.
So long, Justin Beiber & Miley Cyrus.
Eclipse Superstitions:
OneDirection will reunite!
Just long enough to announce they're not reuniting.
Eclipse Superstitions:
The world will awaken and realize taking music that already exists and turning it into a rap song is NOT a talent.
Eclipse Superstitions:
Will Britney Spears & Justin Beiber no longer lip sync and actually SING in concert?
Ha! That would take real talent.
Eclipse Superstitions:
At the apex of the Solar Eclipse, Scientologists worldwide will spontaneously combust.
One can hope, can't one?
Eclipse Superstitions:
Scientology leader Tom Cruise will break his ankle doing a movie stunt.
It already happened?
Damn, I'm good.
Eclipse Superstitions:
ISIS terrorists across the globe will peacefully lay down their arms anticipating the end of the world.
Sometimes ignorance is a wonderful thing.
Eclipse Superstitions:
Is THAT The Righteous Finger of God?
Sadly, no.
It's only the finger of the driver I just cut off because it's so dark.
Eclipse Superstitions:
No need to wear special glasses for the Solar Eclipse.
The sun's rays contain Vitamin D, so they're actually GOOD for your eyes.
Eclipse Superstitions:
NEVER look directly at the sun during a solar Eclipse.
Because the sun is shy and might become flustered and refused to reappear.
Solar Eclipse:
"It's not dark yet, but it's getting there."
--Bob Dylan
Eclipse Chasers spend their lives traveling to and experiencing every Solar Eclipse.
"And maybe some day we'll even get to go on a date."
Next Solar Eclipse?
Sorry, sun, but I've got plans.
Maybe it's better if we don't see each other anymore.
It's not you, it's me.
American Chimpanzee

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