Hell will close its brimstone gates and the dead will walk the Earth.
My ex will fit right in.
Satan will return to claim the souls promised him in exchange for fame and fortune.
So long, Justin Beiber & Miley Cyrus.
OneDirection will reunite!
Just long enough to announce they're not reuniting.
The world will awaken and realize taking music that already exists and turning it into a rap song is NOT a talent.
Will Britney Spears & Justin Beiber no longer lip sync and actually SING in concert?
Ha! That would take real talent.
At the apex of the Solar Eclipse, Scientologists worldwide will spontaneously combust.
One can hope, can't one?
Scientology leader Tom Cruise will break his ankle doing a movie stunt.
It already happened?
Damn, I'm good.
ISIS terrorists across the globe will peacefully lay down their arms anticipating the end of the world.
Sometimes ignorance is a wonderful thing.
Is THAT The Righteous Finger of God?
It's only the finger of the driver I just cut off because it's so dark.
No need to wear special glasses for the Solar Eclipse.
The sun's rays contain Vitamin D, so they're actually GOOD for your eyes.
NEVER look directly at the sun during a solar Eclipse.
Because the sun is shy and might become flustered and refused to reappear.
"It's not dark yet, but it's getting there."
Eclipse Chasers spend their lives traveling to and experiencing every Solar Eclipse.
"And maybe some day we'll even get to go on a date."
Next Solar Eclipse?
Sorry, sun, but I've got plans.
Maybe it's better if we don't see each other anymore.
It's not you, it's me.