Sunday, May 26, 2019

The Week In Tweets: Special Racist Edition!

Fake News Reports!
  
New Mexico Democrats Call President Trump's New Immigration Plan "Reckless"!
Hmm...
That's interesting, because New Mexico REPUBLICANS are calling President Trump's new immigration plan "The best thing since Post Toasties!"
  
An NMSU Researcher Will Evaluate A Model Meant To Help Babies And Parents Sleep Better!
In my case, it's called alcohol.
  
NMSU Ranks In The Top 25 For Enrolling And Graduating Woman In Computer Science.
And, if you think I'm gonna make fun of THAT, you're suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome.
  
El Paso Celebrates It's 146th Birthday With A Party Downtown!
El Paso, you don't look a day over 145.
And neither does my ex-wife.
  
University Of New Mexico Baseball Ends Their Disappointing 2019 Season On A High Note!
"Thank God for medical marijuana," the Lobos coach said. "Uh... don't quote me on that."
Oops.
  
Has-Been Who's The Boss Child Star Alyssa Milano Calls For Women To Go On A Sex Strike To Protest Strict Abortion Laws As The World Yawns In Response!
Too late, Alyssa... I'm ALREADY married.
  
Albuquerque's 2018 Tax Increase Expected To Bilk An Additional FIFTY-EIGHT MILLION DOLLARS From Tax-Payers!
Mayor says it's not enough.
Hey, Mayor... why don't you try cutting spending instead?
"How 'bout them Isotopes?" the Mayor responds.
  
The Las Cruces City Council Met This Past Monday To Go Over Next Year's Spending Plan!
"What do we spend it on?"
"Who cares? It's not OUR money."
  
Washington Becomes First State To Allow Dead People To Choose To Become Compost Rather Than Being Buried Or Cremated!
Silly Washington.
Dead people can't choose.
  
Republican Justin Amash Tweets That Attorney General Barr Has "Deliberately Misrepresented Mueller's Report" and President Trump Has "Engaged In Impeachable Conduct."
Can you give us an example, Congressman Amash?
"No, I can't."
  
Presidential Hopeful Beto O'Rourke Talks About President Trump, Impeachment, And The Opioid Crisis At His CNN Town Hall!
Go back to talking about your ear hair, Beto.
  
Nancy Pelosi: "President Trump Is Engaged In A Cover-Up!"
Can we have some cold, hard facts, Madam Speaker?
"You know, he's covering up for that thing he did over there in that place where those things were happening with some guy who did something for reasons we're still trying to find out."
  
Lori Lightfoot Makes History By Becoming Chicago's First Black, Female, And Openly Gay Mayor!
Good job, America.
This doesn't happen in racist, sexist, homophobic countries, you know.
  
Beto O'Rourke, In A CNN Town Hall, Declares: "We Should Begin Impeachment Proceedings Against President Trump."!
Hey, weren't you once arrested for Armed Robbery and your rich daddy got you off?
"What does THAT have to do with anything?"
  
Housing Secretary And Republican Ben Carson Misunderstands REOs For OREOs From Mumble-Mouthed Congresswoman And Democrat Katie Porter And The News Media Goes NUTS!
Is it just me, or do the negative comments and reportage about OREO cookies seem racist?
  
  
American Chimpanzee
JimDuchene.BlogSpot.com
RaisingMyFather.BlogSpot.com
@JimDuchene
  

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