Fake News Reports!
The Bubonic Plague Has Been Discovered In Northern China's Inner Mongolia!
Fake News Demands To Know:
"Man, what is up with China?"
Former Prince Harry And His Wife Meghan Demand That Britain Must Acknowledge The Wrongs Of The Commonwealth's Colonial Past!
Actually, it was Meghan who did the demanding.
Harry just stood there nodding "Yes, dear."
President Trump Informs Congress Of His Intention To Withdraw The United States From The World Health Organization!
"WHO?" Congress says, asking for a clarification.
"I am," Trump says.
With Nothing Else Going On In The World, The Los Angeles Time Reports On How The Coronavirus Pandemic Has Changed James Corden!
"It hasn't, really," the talk show host chuckles, gleefully. "I'm still a pompous ass."
Caving In To Woke Criticism, Halle Berry Tearfully Kisses Away Millions Of Dollars By Withdrawing From Playing The Role Of A Transgendered Man!
In a related story, Hollywood has bravely shelved all future productions featuring the transgendered.
Fake News Asks:
How Many Urban Thugs Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?
Judging by how many it took to murder rapper Pop Smoke... five.
Cancel Culture Calls For A Boycott Of Goya Foods After Its CEO Robert Unanue Says Something Nice About President Trump!
"I guess nobody read our letter," JK Rowling's observed, wealthily.
A Boomberg QuickTake Informs Us That Concerned Scientists Are Saying The Dreaded COVID-19 Virus Can Spread Airborne Indoors!
You mean, like every other virus?
"Um... yeah."
The New York Times Opinion wonders Why American Cities Waste So Much Space On Cars!
Maybe because there are so many of them?
"Yeah... maybe."
After Coming Home To Find His House Looted,
A "Defund The Police" Activist Reluctantly Dials 9-1-1!
American Chimpanzee
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